If I’ve learned anything from my friend’s passing a month ago, it’s that it’s fine to “be here now” but it’s even better to “be thankful for being here now.”
“Away from brain and ambition, toward heart and soul…” Nailed it!
And then there’s this:
My dad said after his cancer diagnosis that we are all on borrowed time, and it is good to be reminded of this now and again.
My most recent reminder came at the beginning of this month, when my dear friend Ned passed away suddenly. As we gathered to mourn his loss, we were also coming to grips with the fact that it means while we’re all unsure when we’ll be picked in God’s version of the NFL draft, we’re all “on the clock.”
A lot of us thought when we were younger that we might want to stretch ourselves into other areas, master new realms. Now, I know better. I’m happy with the little nesty areas that are mine.
So true. The clock is ticking, but so’s my heart. And I just need to make sure it’s in the right place.
This may come as a surprise to you, Dear Reader (singular), but I’m not exactly a font of knowledge about the Middle East. In fact, my knowledge wouldn’t even fill a thimble.
This also may come as a surprise to you, Dear Reader (still singular… tell a friend about this blog), but I DO know how to read. And I’ve been trying to expand my knowledge of the Middle East conflict, and its history. (I’ve upgraded from thimble to shot glass… and now I need a shot to calm my nerves.)
I found this piece by David Klion and this one from Suzanne Schneider to be quite enlightening. Klion talks about the current Israeli-Palestinian situation and its parallels with 9/11, when America’s blind thirst for “vengeance” led to more senseless suffering.
Suzanne Schneider’s essay is extremely powerful – especially the final two paragraphs:
Nicholas Kristof’s headline from Saturday’s New York Times sums it up:
This probably won’t come as a surprise to you, Dear Reader (still singular… c’mon, just use the “share” link), but I really like music. And I keep replaying a song in my head – a track called “Background Noise” from Irish folk singer Luka Bloom that came out in 1994. Luka was writing about “The Troubles” in Ireland, but the sentiment is universal – and sadly just as applicable today:
You hear the cries of the different sides The bullet hits again Take a look in anybody’s eyes Our tears are all the same Our tears are all the same…
What the hell do I know – Crying out for love What the hell can I do – Crying out for love When every single child needs To hear the voice of love We all need a new speech – The words of love
Back in my college days, if we needed someone to get swung around like a helicopter blade during a party, Ned was there.
If we needed someone to dress up like an elf, Ned was there.
Getting handcuffed to a loft? Ned was there.
Beer bongs? Ned was there.
For all of our Spring break adventures, Ned was there.
If we needed someone to man the grill, Ned was there.
At all those parties — in the dorm rooms, in the quad, and at the bars — Ned was there.
Whenever you needed a friend, Ned was there.
After college, when some folks from our gang got married, Ned was there.
At all the memorable moments over the past 40 years , Ned was there. Always.
Then, this past Monday, out of the blue, Ned was no longer there.
Suddenly — You were gone From all the lives You left your mark upon
Ned had a stroke back in May of 2020 – it caused all sorts of health complications. But his departure still came as a shock. Now he’s in another “there” and we’re still here.
Tried to believe But you know it’s no good This is something That just can’t be understood
Every one of us has a special place in our heart for the guy who was good-natured, sweet, kind, caring, smart, attentive, funny… and always up for a good time. Ned is still there. He always will be.
Barbie: role model for girls, fun to play with, brought joy to many.
I’m not talking about the Mattel toy, or the Hollywood blockbuster. I’m talking about Barb O’Brien. A couple of years ago, I didn’t even know who she was. But thanks to the esprit de corps that pickleball engenders among “the regulars” at any particular set of courts, I got to know Barb (a.k.a. “Barbie”). And to know Barb was to love her. How could you not admire someone who was battling cancer but still kicking butt on the courts… and doing it all with a positivity that was absolutely infectious.
Age and ailments slowed her down, but they never kept her away from the courts for too long until recently. To say Barb “lost” her battle to cancer would be wrong – she left the courts (and this world) with her head held high and a smile on her face.
I knew Barb was a tennis star in her youth, but it wasn’t until I read her obit that I realized what a trailblazer she was:
Barb was a fierce competitor, earning a spot on the Withrow High School Boys Varsity Tennis team in 1972, prior to Title IX and dedicated womens teams. Barb went on to attend the University of Cincinnati where she played tennis, achieving a ranking of #2 in the state of Ohio.
Barb was a greeter, a welcomer, an ambassador, and a connector. She was a grinder, a laugher, and a lover of the game. She made an indelible impact on me and many others. She not only helped create other lovers of the game, but other ambassadors, connectors, and welcomers. They are all Barb’s legacy, and they are all longing for the old days.
Mitch Dunn in his Medium post linked above
Barb’s friend Sue posted the news of Barb’s passing on the group chat for the Clear Creek pickleball crew. Dozens of people posted notes like these:
Barb’s daughter Marci joined the chat via Barb’s account:
Barbie Summer is over. But Barb’s influence will go on for years.
More heat emergencies. More wildfires. The hottest ocean temps in recorded history. It can be easy to despair about the state of the world that we all share. Or give up hope completely.
But a recent New York Times article gave cause — causes actually — for optimism, and I’ll take all the good news I can get.
Sorry about the paywall thing… FWIW, cheapskates like me avoid it by using a free day pass from the public library. The Cincinnati Library one is here.
Here are a few choice excerpts:
Coal: it’s only for bad kids’ Christmas stockings.
Bob Dylan was right – the answer is blowin’ in the wind!
Without a doubt, we’re still in a crisis. The planet is in peril. But the winds of change are blowing, and we might be seeing the dawn of a new day (and capturing those solar rays in the process). Go Team Earth!
blueandgolddreamer on Vive la Différence!: “Apathy is the worst. It says it all” Mar 25, 04:14
Thomas G Kuhl on (Basket)ball of Confusion: “So many thoughts. I agree that it should be about life lessons. Okay. I will go away quietly screaming” Mar 19, 02:57
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