Yesterday marked three years since my dear friend Ned passed away. In a few weeks, many in the Xavier graduating class of 1986 will be gathering for our 40th reunion. i really wish Ned could be there.
I’m not good at math, but if it’s been 40 years since we graduated, that means it’s been 44 since we started college. I didn’t really know Ned our freshman year, but I made up for it after that. We were suitemates our junior and senior years, and roommates with several other friends for the year after college. When I worked in Oxford, Ohio, Ned’s apartment on the West Side of Cincinnati was my weekend home. I can still smell the goetta cooking on Saturday mornings after a late night of revelry on Friday.
So Ned and I were friends for 40 years. And over that time, there are 1,001 Ned stories. Some involving bowling balls and/or TV sets being launched from dorm windows. (Do not try this at home – unless you want to get kicked out of the dorms.) Shopping cart demolition derby. Sleeping in Ned’s Chevette on Spring Break in Ft. Lauderdale (don’t try that either – “too close for comfort”). Basketball games – watching our beloved Muskies or participating in intramural games where we rarely won but always had more fun than our opponents. (Long live “The Flying Dories.”) Late nights at Dana Gardens and Eva’s. Early mornings at The Woods. Fireworks in close quarters. Punctured milk containers. Peanut butter ears. Brillo pad hair. Harold the deer head. Fossilized fish. “Coal Miner’s Daughter.” Chicken ravioli burnt to a crisp. Wrestling singlets. Elf costumes… I could go on and on.
As the years rolled past, the memorable moments became less frequent, but more powerful. Weddings. The birth of our kids. The “hurricane years” as our friend Vinnie calls them as we raised our families. But whenever we got together, it was nothing but laughs, just like back in the day.
Ned made those laughs happen. Long before the movie Elf was ever made, Ned was a real-life version of Buddy the Elf. Pure of heart. Innocent. Fun-loving.
A million thanks for the 1,001 stories, Ned!
Below are my posts about Ned from previous years:
SMILES > Sadness (from Oct. 2025)
Sorry for the ouroboros-like post today. It’s been two years and one day since the passing of my friend Ned. Just like last year, I’m reposting my blog entry from October of 2023, and adding a few new thoughts on life and death (you know, just a couple of light topics).
It’s hard to believe it’s been two years. Maybe some of that is due to the fact that time seems to speed up as we age. But for me, I think a big part of it is because the pain, the sting, the overwhelming sadness of Ned’s passing diminishes over time, and yet the smiles, the joy, the love that Ned gave to all of us is still just as strong, just as vivid, just as real. His death was a punch to the gut that sent all of us reeling. But it had no lasting impact on our hearts. If anything, we love him more, because his absence gives us a greater appreciation for what he meant to us.
The sadness doesn’t go away, but it dulls over time. And the smiles are as fresh as today. Or yesterday. Or two years and one day ago.
Be Like Ned (from Oct. 2024)
One year ago today, we lost our dear friend Ned. (The “we” in this case includes the countless people Ned befriended during his too-short time on earth.)
I’m reposting my tribute to Ned from last October below. And adding a few more thoughts:
Be kind to everyone you meet, from the cashier at the supermarket on up, like Ned was.
Be caring, like Ned was. Ask others how they are doing.
Be faithful, like Ned was. A devoted husband, a proud parent, and a true-blue friend.
Be open to adventure, like Ned was.
If we could all be a bit more like Ned, the world would be a much better place. And to those of us who were lucky enough to know Ned, our part of the world IS a better place than it was before he came into our lives.
Photographs and Memories (from oct. 2023)
Back in my college days, if we needed someone to get swung around like a helicopter blade during a party, Ned was there.
If we needed someone to dress up like an elf, Ned was there.
Getting handcuffed to a loft? Ned was there.
Beer bongs? Ned was there.
For all of our Spring break adventures, Ned was there.
If we needed someone to man the grill, Ned was there.
At all those parties — in the dorm rooms, in the quad, and at the bars — Ned was there.
Whenever you needed a friend, Ned was there.
After college, when some folks from our gang got married, Ned was there.
At all the memorable moments over the past 40 years , Ned was there. Always.
Then, this past Monday, out of the blue, Ned was no longer there.
Suddenly — You were gone From all the lives You left your mark upon
Ned had a stroke back in May of 2020 – it caused all sorts of health complications. But his departure still came as a shock. Now he’s in another “there” and we’re still here.
Tried to believe But you know it’s no good This is something That just can’t be understood
Every one of us has a special place in our heart for the guy who was good-natured, sweet, kind, caring, smart, attentive, funny… and always up for a good time. Ned is still there. He always will be.
Don’t let the title of this post fool you. Even if it IS Spooky Season.
This has nothing to do with pumpkins (or David S. Pumpkins).
But it IS about strangers inside our house.
They show up when I host a house concert. Which has been roughly once a year since 2017.
This is all my friend Joe’s fault. He’s the one who — way back in 2017 — told me that Craig Finn (lead singer of The Hold Steady) was looking to book a house concert in either Cincinnati or Louisville to promote a new solo album.
That house concert tour was booked by a company called Undertow, which helps all sorts of artists book similar shows from coast to coast. They’re good people doing a great service – helping artists go the DIY route and play intimate shows attended by (and hosted by) enthusiastic fans.
Since that Craig Finn gig in ’17, we’ve also hosted Eric Bachmann, Chuck Cleaver and Lisa Walker of Wussy (four times – including one trio show with their Wussy bandmate Mark Messerly), Jason Narducy, and last Thursday’s show featuring Lisa Walker and Elizabeth Nelson of The Paranoid Style. (On a tour they’ve jokingly called “Walker Nelson Overdrive” or WNO for short.)
(Jason’s show wasn’t via Undertow, he goes full DIY – but he knows and respects the Undertow folks.)
Some people think I’m crazy for letting 25-40 strangers into our house. (And my wife sometimes falls into that category.) But the folks who attend these sorts of shows are not beer-swilling hooligans. (They swill beer – shows are BYOB – but they aren’t hooligans.) They’re true fans who appreciate the opportunity to see artists they love up close and personal. They’re not going to mess that up by creating a ruckus (or stealing the silverware).
Last Thursday’s show included an audience member who lives in Florida but has clients in Ohio and Michigan. He planned a sales trip around the show! And another super-fan brought a cake to celebrate the start of the tour.
No, not the YA book series. The kind on your skin. Every show provides multiple goosebump moments, when the singer (or better yet, singers) play a favorite tune of mine, and you’re right there, and the moment feels magical.
Goosebumps!
It’s well worth the extra effort to rearrange the living room furniture once or twice a year. Speaking of which, a huge hat-tip to Mrs. Dubbatrubba for making the house clean-clean instead of just Dubbatrubba-clean, and to our son Peter for being an unpaid employee of Dubbatrubba & Sons Moving & Storage.
I rode 30 miles in the Ride Cincinnati event on Saturday. Although according to my Garmin watch, it was only 28.72 miles. (I paused it at the turnaround, and didn’t restart it until I was underway on the return.)
Riding 30 miles on a glorious Saturday morning was the easy part. (Especially with police helping us through the tricky intersections before we hit Route 8 in Kentucky.)
But if you contributed to my fundraising efforts, that’s the tough part. When gas and grocery prices are sky high. When you have so many worthy causes asking you for your hard-earned dollars.
But together, WE did it. We helped fund cancer research, education and care. To the tune of $4540.
We make a great team.
And there were others like us. Riding. Donating. Cheering. It all adds up.
I put some initials on my shoes to help remind me of why I was riding. My dear friend LJ. Carol Jean, the mom of my friends Lisa and Drew. Gloria Jean, my mother-in-law. And my mom, Olga (no middle initial). All gone too soon. All no doubt approving of OUR efforts.
“Starting on day one, we will end inflation and make America affordable again, to bring down the prices of all goods.”
— Donald Trump, (NBC Montana, Trump Rally in Bozeman, MT, YouTube August 9, 2024).
“Energy is going to bring us back. That means we’re going down and getting gasoline below $2 a gallon, bring down the price of everything from electricity rates to groceries, airfares, and housing costs.”
— Donald Trump (NBC News, Trump Addresses Economic Club Of New York, YouTube September 5, 2024).
How’s that working out for us?
That’s just gas. What about groceries?
But things will get better soon, right?
So much for those “Day 1” promises.
Who is responsible for this mess?
Not Sleepy Joe. Not Critical Race Theory. Not Antifa. Not drag queens. Not immigrants. Not street gangs. Not communists. Not socialists. Not election officials. Not the “deep state.” Not the “fake news media.” Not the “radical left.” Not China. Not Canada.
Nope there’s one person that caused all this misery.
Jane Street is the best quant trading company I know. It’s also the only quant trading company I know. And the reason I know about it has nothing to do with “global liquidity.” They publish a new brain teaser puzzle every month or two. My son Peter discovered them several months ago, and he will usually enlist my help in trying to solve them. A week ago, he told me the newest puzzle was right up my alley, because it was music based:
He was right. But being cuckoo about music wasn’t a guarantee that we’d crack the code and figure out the final answer. I spent quite a bit of time trying to solve even one of the “songs” on the album cover. But eventually I got one (see below if you’re OK with a spoiler) which then led to Peter and I tag teaming on the others. (With me as the lead on the older hints and Peter tapping into his pop music knowledge for the more recent ones.)
This may seem weird to you (or to anyone who is more familiar with typical father-son pursuits such as fishing, camping, and baseball games), but I love the time we spend together working on these puzzles. Especially when one of us cracks part of one of the hints, and the other builds off that to bring it home. Two heads really are better than one. And it does my heart good to spend some quality time with my adult son. (Ditto for going to concerts by my oldest son’s band… and going to IU football games with my youngest… and going to concerts with my daughter.)
Once we understood the pattern, we were off and running. Some came rather easily, others took a bit of pondering. But like most Jane Street puzzles, solving the first part creates a second level challenge, which then leads to a final answer. Once again, we put our heads together to solve it – I got it started, and Peter brought it home.
If you solve the puzzle, you can submit your name(s) on the Jane Street site. Damn straight we took credit for our work!
And it’s smart marketing on Jane Street’s part to publish new puzzles. It’s great for building their brand and attracting the smartest minds to their company.
They even made their “why we do puzzles” explainer a puzzle!
Using our minds and putting our hearts into it – it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why that’s so satisfying.
spoiler!
This was the clue that opened the floodgates for me:
At first my head went to Nine Inch Nails, because they originally did the song “Hurt.” But the Johnny Cash version is more popular, mostly based on the amazing music video (see below). So “Cash” + (in a fender bender) became “Crash.” Giving us an “R” for the next level hint. The other songs on the album are similar – artist’s name + an extra letter, and that extra letter helps spell out the next hint. Happy solving!
Sorry Bocephus, but I’m NOT ready for some football. The Bengals kick off their regular season today. Two NFL games have already been played. College ball is wall to wall. And I am completely “meh” about all of it. Especially now that the college players are paid as well as (or better than) the pros.
Oh sure, IF I’m at home and IF I’m otherwise unoccupied and IF there’s a particular team I’d like to see, I’ll tune in. But I’ll mostly just do a quick glance at the scores the next day. I don’t need any “MACtion” in my life. I don’t want the pregame analysis or the hype. I don’t care about the betting lines. I won’t check the Monday morning reactions. I’ll get along just fine without Paul Finebaum.
I’d rather read. Or write. Or play pickleball. Or go for a walk. Or ride a bike. Or take a hike. Or take a trip. Or go to a concert. Or cook a meal. Or repaint and clean out the laundry room. (The last item on that list is currently occupying waaay too much of my time.)
Now that I’m in the 4th quarter of my life, I’m OK with sending football to the sidelines, and trying to create my own highlights.
A few weeks ago, I posted a version of my email soliciting donations for Ride Cincinnati, a cycling event that raises funds for cancer research, education and care.
Here’s what I said back then:
And that’s never been more true.
More than 40 kind-hearted folks have supported my efforts. Family members. Friends from all walks of my life. College buddies. Radio pals. Ad agency colleagues. Former co-workers. Current co-workers. Friends of friends who have become friends. Neighbors. In-laws. Even a couple of outlaws (you know who you are!).
It all adds up. Thanks to their generosity, I’ve surpassed my fundraising goal.
That’s all well and good, but reaching my personal goal wasn’t the real goal. The goal is raising awareness of the great work that organizations like Cancer Care Advisors do. And yes, raising money to help the folks fighting cancer.
You’re giving money, yes. But you’re also giving hope. That’s priceless.
What goes around comes around… mile after mile.
Thanks!
(And if you haven’t donated yet and want to chip in to get me over $3,500, you can do so here.)
Kevin Sullivan on 43-3=1,001: “Reading while listening to Keith Jarrett, “Guess I’ll Hang Out My Tears To Dry”, good good stuff Damian, thanks.” Oct 3, 09:29
Thomas Kuhl on We did it!: “Well done! Good and Honorable man!” Sep 29, 01:29
Thomas G Kuhl on Get on the bus!: “I am glad that bus keeps circling………” Sep 8, 03:37
Kevin Sullivan on The full-brain workout: “Yep, keep writing .. in your voice. https://www.nytimes.com/2026/08/04/opinion/artificial-intelligence-ai-writing.html?unlocked_article_code=1.4VA.JFCf.Lr_UK5tlpBRR&smid=url-share” Aug 10, 10:57
You done said…