The 12 Random Thoughts of Christmas

  1. The older your kids get, the more expensive their gifts get. You can buy a lot of wooden blocks for less than one XBox.
  2. Shoe companies should make shoelaces out of Christmas light wires, because those strands always stay tied up. 
  3. If you buy an “ugly sweater” anywhere other than a thrift shop, you are part of the problem.
  4. Fruitcake gets a bad rap – those boxed chocolates with coconut inside are just as bad. 
  5. Most holiday music is so awful, the “Toyotathon” remake of “Jingle Bell Rock” is probably in the top 10.
  6. Every kiss begins with Kay, but the word “sucker” has You and Kay in it.
  7. The “A Christmas Story” marathon is the best part of the season.
  8. If red cups = a war on Christmas, then Solo is in big trouble.    
  9. It’s only a matter of time until there’s a limited edition Figgy Pudding flavored Cap’n Crunch.  
  10. 40% of Mall Santas also sing Kenny Rogers songs at karaoke bars.
  11. Forget a better mousetrap – if someone  invents a better Christmas tree stand, the world will beat a path to their door. 
  12. Let’s not forget the real reason for the season: selling more Star Wars merchandise.

Plastic ain’t fantastic

Here’s a plastic surgery ad from a recent issue of Cincinnati Magazine:

plastic surg

I had no idea there were so many options… face lift, neck lift, eyelid lift (isn’t that called “waking up”?), volume lift, fat transfer (isn’t that what happens when you take a Twinkie out of the box and put it in your mouth?)… and things with sci-fi names like Dysport and Liposonix.

Here’s a better idea: accept your body the way it is. Warts and all. Saggy eyelids and all. Embrace the aging process, or at least deal with it in a way that doesn’t involve scalpels, injections, suctions or concoctions with an “SM” next to their name.

I have a theory that plastic surgery doesn’t just remove or reposition unwanted flesh, it also steals brain cells. So perhaps you’ll look a bit better but you’ll be a lot dumber. And looking better isn’t always guaranteed. Look at poor Meg Ryan, who went from America’s Sweetheart to looking like a stunt double for The Riddler.

Here’s a Twilight Zone episode that teaches a beautiful lesson about aging.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xx7fti_twilight-zone-the-trade-ins_shortfilms

If you don’t have 25 minutes to spare—but you should always have 25 minutes to spare for Rod Serling—here’s the best line from the show, a quote from Robert Browning:

“Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made.”

 

 

Stop staring at screens

A lot of schools – and preschools – love to tout their technology to the parents of prospective students. Sometimes it can become an arms race:

“Oak Tree Early Learning Center has a computer lab for our 3-5 year olds!”

“Williams School for the Gifted and Beautiful has 2 iPads for every kid!”

I’ve never been a believer. I’m not a Luddite, but I think very young kids should learn by doing before they learn by staring. Keep them away from computers until the 5th grade or so. Especially with smartphones, tablets and computers readily available outside their school hours, it becomes more important that they be able to unplug while in class, and get their hands dirty.

Here’s a great article from the Washington Post about why having kids stare at screens is bad, and how tools can overtake the brain.

My favorite passage:

A study released in September by the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development looked at school tech initiatives in more than three dozen countries (although not the United States) and found that while students who use computers moderately show modest gains over those who rarely do, heavy technology use has a negative impact. “Students who use computers very frequently at school do a lot worse in most learning outcomes, even after accounting for social background and student demographics,” the report concluded.

We have also known for years — at least since the 2012 report “Facing the Screen Dilemma” from the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood — that screen time for younger children in particular comes with a huge opportunity cost, depriving them of hands-on learning, time outdoors and “face-to-face interactions with caring adults.” Digital-savvy parents in Silicon Valley made news way back in 2011 for enrolling their children in steadfastlyscreen-free schools. They knew that their kids would be swiping and clicking soon enough, but there are only a limited number of childhood years when it’s not only really fun to build with Legos, it’s also really good for you.

 

Older. Wiser. Cooler.

Normally when there’s a pre-roll ad slapped on the front of a video I want to see, I click “skip ad” as soon as I can. But the one below sucked me in within the first few seconds. I watched the entire six minutes and 46 seconds and was so glad I did. I wouldn’t even call it an ad, it’s a short film really, a character study with a powerful message. Heck, I didn’t even know what the ad was for until the very end.

Ricky is my new hero, and Doris rocks!

Turkey trot

Happy Thanksgiving! I went for a six-mile run this morning on a hike/bike trail near our house. What a  wonderful way to start this Turkey Day… not many people out, great running weather, sun coming up…

While I ran I thought about the many things for which I am thankful:

  • my health – this week I heard about another college classmate of mine who passed away suddenly, which really gave me pause.
  • my wife – she works as a nurse 4 days a week, teaches 4-6 exercise classes a week, just ran the New York Marathon and spent all day yesterday getting the house in shape as we prepare to host the Thanksgiving feast. (I helped a bit, but not enough.) A human dynamo.
  • my kids – they all have their moments, but overall they’re great kids.
  • my job – a year ago I was 80% sure I’d be laid off from work and pounding the pavement looking for my next gig. But what happened when my old company split actually turned out to be a plus for me.
  • my friends – I don’t see them as often as I’d like to, but when I do it’s sustenance for the soul
  • a good book – there’s no better way to escape the your own world and inhabit another.
  • music – my lifelong love affair with tunes goes on…
  • public transportation – a weird one, I know, but I’m convinced that by taking the bus to work most days instead of driving, I’ve reduced my stress immeasurably and have been able to read more.
  • craft beer – yum.
  • hike/bike paths – they make a run or ride so much more relaxing than fighting traffic.
  • tofurkey – actually I’ve never had this, but as a vegetarian I feel like I need to represent.
  • Bea Arthur – the most golden of the Golden Girls.
  • Scoopable kitty litter – most welcome in a two-cat household.
  • Xavier basketball – makes the winter a bit more bearable.
  • you! – thanks for reading.

 

Music to my ears

My daughter Leah and my son Peter attend a Walnut Hills High School, which is typically ranked as one of the top public high schools in the country. If you start there in 7th grade (which Peter did and Leah is doing now), you have to take three years of Latin. (Ah, the romance of the original Romance language!)

Students also have to take at least one semester of music class… which went over like a pregnant pole vaulter at our house. Leah had never had a single music lesson in her life prior to choosing her musical weapon of trumpet. Practice isn’t always pretty… in fact sometimes it sounds like an elephant is being tortured:

But it’s a prime example of “practice makes perfect.” They may not put in the 10,000 hours required to reach Malcolm Gladwell’s “mastery” but they certainly become quite proficient by the end-of-semester concert. And the kicker is they wind up liking it. After completing his mandatory class, Peter wound up signing up for another semester of music of his own volition. So no matter how practice sounds to other folks, it’s music to my ears.

It’s like ol’ Bill Shakespeare said “If music be the food of love, play on”