- The older your kids get, the more expensive their gifts get. You can buy a lot of wooden blocks for less than one XBox.
- Shoe companies should make shoelaces out of Christmas light wires, because those strands always stay tied up.
- If you buy an “ugly sweater” anywhere other than a thrift shop, you are part of the problem.
- Fruitcake gets a bad rap – those boxed chocolates with coconut inside are just as bad.
- Most holiday music is so awful, the “Toyotathon” remake of “Jingle Bell Rock” is probably in the top 10.
- Every kiss begins with Kay, but the word “sucker” has You and Kay in it.
- The “A Christmas Story” marathon is the best part of the season.
- If red cups = a war on Christmas, then Solo is in big trouble.
- It’s only a matter of time until there’s a limited edition Figgy Pudding flavored Cap’n Crunch.
- 40% of Mall Santas also sing Kenny Rogers songs at karaoke bars.
- Forget a better mousetrap – if someone invents a better Christmas tree stand, the world will beat a path to their door.
- Let’s not forget the real reason for the season: selling more Star Wars merchandise.
You done said…