About a month ago, Paul Stanley of the band KISS sent out this tweet:
Such a sweet sentiment from an unexpected source… this is the guy who wrote “Love Gun” right? The Twitterverse responded in kind(ness):
Never thought I’d get great life advice from a guy who wears kabuki makeup, spiked boots and spandex for a living, but there you have it.
Of course, there is a flip side to this sentimental record…
Today is my mom’s birthday. She would be 87… but she only made it to 33. This photo was taken in July of 1968. By November of that year, she was gone. That dapper young lad on the far left (striking the perfect JC Penney catalog pose, might I add) left plenty unsaid… and has zero memories to cherish.
I’m not trying to throw a pity party on my mom’s birthday. But I have plenty of friends who are dealing with the many challenges of having elderly parents – multiple meds, doctors appointments, surgeries, chemo, dementia, cleaning out decades of accumulated “stuff” from a home, paying the bills, assisted living, nursing home, hospice. I’m sure it can be a pain in the butt. If you’re in this situation and feeling the burden, please re-read Paul Stanley’s notes for a bit of perspective. Remember that you’re blessed. And it sure beats the alternative.
Tell your parents how much you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Tell them how much you love them and remind them of all the memories you cherish. What you do today will give you peace of mind and comfort tomorrow.
She has 10 flatmates in her student housing at the University of Glasgow… that would double my current readership! So here goes….
Leah has been in college overseas for about 8 months now. During that time she has:
Lost her passport
Lost her Ohio ID
Lost her student ID
Lost the credit card tied to our account
Had her phone stolen
For Leah, those incidents have been aggravating. As a parent who is nearly 2,000 miles away (sorry, flatmates, I meant nearly 3,000 kilometers away), it’s super-frustrating.
But that’s all “stuff.” It can be replaced. It has been. What’s much more important is what she’s found during her “fresher” year of “uni.” (Man, these flatmates better appreciate how I’m adapting my vocabulary!)
She’s found friends. Ones who helped her with booking a hostel and a new flight when she had to stay a couple extra days in Krakow, Poland after she lost her passport there back in October.
Friends who made an American-style Thanksgiving feast when she was missing home in November.
Friends who will stay up until the wee hours to watch the Cincinnati team play in the Super Bowl… even though they think rugby is better.
Friends who invited her to their homes…. in London:
And in Derry:
Leah went swimming here.
She’s learned how to navigate unfamiliar cities in foreign countries.
St. Paddy’s Day… in Dublin!
She’s met people from all over the globe, and learned about different cultures.
She’s found that’s she’s capable of much more than she thought she was just 8 short months ago.
Here’s a hot topic: your kid shouldn’t get shot while shopping at Hot Topic.
Your son shouldn’t become a target while shopping at Target.
A teenage party shouldn’t turn into two funerals.
A trip to the grocery store shouldn’t end in a trip to the E.R.
What do these shootings have in common? Well, they weren’t “random acts of violence” according to the police…
South Carolina: “We believe the individuals that were armed knew each other, and there was some type of conflict that occurred which resulted in gunfire,” Holbrook said in a Saturday afternoon news conference. “This was not a situation where we had some random person show up at a mall to discharge a firearm and injure people.”
Target store in Cincinnati: “The early stages of the investigation reveal the victim was targeted outside the store by the suspect,” a police spokesperson said. “This was not a random act of violence.”
Kroger store in Cincinnati: The March 25 shooting in the parking lot of the Hyde Park Kroger began as a “physical altercation” between a Kroger employee and another man inside the store, prosecutors said Wednesday. After the altercation, the man left the store. Prosecutors said the employee, 23-year-old Kevion Howze – who had a 9mm handgun – chased the man and shot at him four times in the parking lot.
Pittsburgh party: “Unfortunately, guns came into play, and we had shootings that occurred inside and outside the structure,” Schubert told CNN’s Kate Bolduan Monday. “We’re trying to piece everything together.”
So they weren’t random… that should put everyone’s minds at ease. Oh, other than the folks — many of them innocent bystanders — who were shot, or shot at, or had to jump out of windows to avoid getting shot. Oh, and their friends and relatives too, many of whom are attending funerals.
One other similarity among these “non-random” shootings? The people pulling the triggers were all under the age of 25.
Although brain development is subject to significant individual variation, most experts suggest that the brain is fully developed by age 25…. This means that some people may have major struggles with impulsive decisions
Wait, there’s one other thing these incidents — and hundreds more across the country — have in common: unfettered access to guns. There’s a huge difference between a fight among teens and a gunfight among them. When “beef” meets bullets, when testosterone combines with Glocks, when bullets are flying instead of just fists, we all lose.
I’m not naïve enough to think that every argument among teens or young adults will end with some sort of West Side Story finger-snapping dance. But I sure wish that were the case. Kids and young adults make bad decisions – that’s part of the growing up process. But when their brains are clouded and their hands are on a gun, it turns deadly.
“People should be outraged at what is currently going on. No one should fear getting shot while they are simply trying to shop at their local Kroger.”
Hamilton County Prosecutor Joe Deters, in the article cited above
Yes, we should be outraged. More than half of us are… and favor common sense restrictions.
But… and there’s always a but… special interests have used political donations and fear-mongering to their advantage. In Ohio, Governor Mike DeWine just signed a new law that allows adults (21 or older) to carry a concealed weapon without a permit or training. And they don’t even have to tell a police officer that they have a gun unless specifically asked.
“Passing Senate Bill 215 and repealing Ohio’s concealed carry permitting law is another dangerous step in the wrong direction and it is a serious threat to public safety in our communities,” the Ohio Mayors Alliance Board of Directors wrote in a statement this month. “Our bipartisan coalition of mayors has stood with law enforcement groups in opposition to this bill because we know it will make our police officers less safe, it will increase gun violence in our communities, and it recklessly blurs the line between criminals with guns and properly licensed gun owners.”
DeWine is 75, so we can’t blame it on an underdeveloped brain.
Kevin Necessary editorial cartoon in the Cincinnati Enquirer
“By signing this bill into law, Mike DeWine has sold out Ohioans and law enforcement officers to special interest groups and extremists in the legislature. This bill will make all Ohioans less safe. Time and again, DeWine has promised to support law enforcement officers and ‘do something’ to combat gun violence in our state. Once again, he’s failed on both fronts, putting his own political interests over the safety and well-being of his constituents.”
Ohio Democratic Party Chair Elizabeth Walters
So, my rootin’ tootin’ gun-totin’ friends… how does this — the “constitutional carry” and the “stand your ground” and the fact that it’s easier for a teen to get a gun than to see an R-rated movie… make us all safer? Please let me know soon – I need to go grocery shopping.
Jon Batiste took home a fistful of Grammys a couple of weeks ago, including the highly coveted Album of the Year award for We Are.
In that moment, it would’ve been very easy for him to thump his chest. Instead he opened his heart.
So classy, so gracious, so humble… and he spoke the truth. We don’t find music so much as music finds us… when we need it the most.
I loved his parting words: “Be you!”
We each have our own path, our own craft. Work at it every day. You may not make the Grammy stage, but you come out a winner in the game of life.
I listened to Jon Batiste on the Broken Record podcast a few weeks ago and was really blown away by his heart, and his wisdom, and his love. Check it out at the bottom of this post- it’s mandatory listening.
In the interview, Jon Batiste makes it clear that he didn’t get to where he is on his own. He talked about his mentors. Their role is crucial.
One of Jon Batiste’s mentors was his father, who urged him to “tell the truth.”
Another was his cousin Alvin Batiste, a legendary New Orleans jazz musician. Alvin pushed Jon out of his comfort zone, and it made him better at his craft:
Your ability, your talent, the innate thing that you have within you… can be applied to anything. It doesn’t just have to fit the thing that you know you’re capable of doing today…. that’s why I don’t believe in limitations of genre or limitations of creativity in any way.
Jon Batiste
Sometimes the highest hurdles are the limits we impose on ourselves. Congrats to Jon Batiste on his Grammy success. And congrats to YOU on your continued success in whatever path you choose.
Here’s Jon Batiste’s full interview on the Broken Record podcast:
Our “baby” boy got his driver’s license yesterday morning, and went to his school’s prom last night.
2008 CR-V with 200K miles… rollin’ in style!
Just like that, we went from one phase of life to another. From Parent Uber to keeping your phone unsilenced and on the nightstand. Better the devil you know…
He’ll turn 17 in a month, so he’s a bit late to the driving game (thanks pandemic!). I’m fine with that. My auto insurance premium was fine with that too. He’s a cautious driver, and he’s put in his hours, but those are no guarantee of safety. Far from it.
Our baby has a lot more freedom. My wife and I will get a few more gray hairs. That’s how the wheels of life turn… and you can’t slow them down.
No this isn’t a post about math. I’m not really wired that way.
I’m talking about college basketball. Over the past couple days we’ve seen why the NCAA College Basketball Tournament is the best sporting event in the United States. If you disagree, you’re wrong. The Super Bowl is way too much hype. The NBA Finals and the World Series are usually won by the teams with the fattest payroll. And the NHL? Well I don’t know much about hockey, but I imagine their finals are like the world’s worst ice fishing expedition.
Over the past couple days of March Madness® (that’s a trademarked term by the way… good thing I don’t make any money on this blog), lots of games went right down to the wire. Especially on Thursday. There were three overtime games. Two teams that were seeded #12 beat the teams that were seeded #5. Number 16 seed Georgia State went toe to toe with the top-ranked Gonzaga Bulldogs for about 30 minutes…. unfortunately for them, college basketball games are 40 minutes long.
But the cherry on top was when the scrappy Peacocks from Saint Peter’s University beat the blue-blooded Wildcats from the University of Kentucky. Saint Peter’s went into the game a 17.5-point underdog. but they kept fighting and kept scrapping and knocked off one of the most storied programs in college basketball, and a perennial powerhouse. The #15 seed was greater than #2.
In case you didn’t know it, St Peter’s University is in Jersey City, New Jersey. The city where I was born.
389 Liberty Avenue, Jersey City, NJ… a.k.a. “home”
It’s also the city where my dad’s family grew up. My Uncle John (my Dad’s older brother) was a graduate of Saint Peter’s (back when it was known as St. Peter’s College). And he loved basketball.
Uncle John also loved serving others, so he became a Jesuit priest and taught at a high school in the Philippines for most of his adult life. My dad didn’t go to Saint Peter’s but he was just as much of a staunch Catholic as my priestly uncle. (We jokingly referred to him as “Pope Herbert I.”) So during the college b-ball season, and especially when March Madness® rolled around, he loved rooting for the Catholic universities. He would have been happy over the past couple days: Gonzaga, Creighton, Notre Dame, St. Mary’s, Villanova and Saint Peter’s all advanced to the next round.
Uncle John officiated at my Dad’s wedding
Schools that pull off upsets in the NCAA tourney typically get a boost in college applications. Uncle John and “Pope Herb” would surely be thrilled that a small Jesuit university in their home city is getting some extra attention.
By the time the Saint Peter’s-Kentucky game ended it, it was close to midnight on St. Patrick’s Day. My dad passed away on March 18th twelve years ago. But I know he and my Uncle John are really happy that some scrappy kids from Jersey City — kids with the odds stacked against them — kept on fighting and came out on top.
In fact, I’m sure both of them are high-fiving the original St. Peter right now!
Update: St. Peter’s beat Murray State on 3/19 to advance to the Sweet 16, only the 3rd #15 seed to make it that far in the history of the tourney, and the most unlikely one.
This is far and away the most unlikely Sweet 16 entrant in the history of the NCAA tournament.
Joe Lunardi
This article from Yahoo! Sports captures the euphoria.
“Now all you have to say is St. Peter’s University and everybody knows what you’re talking about. Our basketball team put us on the map.”
Brooke Boutchie, a St. Peter’s student and defender on the women’s soccer team.
Kevin Sullivan on Life advice from a man who lived it: “A good one Damian. Bring our lens into focus after the long weekend or our long life journey.” Jul 7, 09:38
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