This is the story of a Prince, a Pope and a young woman.
Sinéad O’Connor was 23 when her second album I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got rocketed up the charts, mostly based on the strength of her cover of Prince’s song “Nothing Compares 2 U.”
She didn’t just cover Prince’s song… she made it her own.
Sinéad was just 25 when she appeared on Saturday Night Live and performed Bob Marley’s “War.” She didn’t just cover Marley’s tune, she made it her own… by changing the lyrics to reference child abuse. Oh, and as we all know, she did so while tearing up a photo of the Pope.
For doing so, she was “cancelled” before cancel culture was even a thing.
In a post-Spotlight world, when we know much more about the child abuse being committed by members of the clergy, and about the coverups by the higher-ups, I hope people can better understand the motives of Ms. O’Connor. She wasn’t just protesting clergy abuse either, but child abuse in general. It was something she had firsthand experience with.
The photo itself had hung on the bedroom wall of O’Connor’s mother, who O’Connor later said had physically and sexually abused her as a child.
At 14, Sinéad was sent to live at one of the infamous Magdelene Laundries in Ireland.
“We were girls in there, not women, just children really. And the girls in there cried every day. It was a prison. We didn’t see our families, we were locked in, cut off from life, deprived of a normal childhood. We were told we were there because we were bad people. Some of the girls had been raped at home and not believed.”
Nine years after she tore up his photo, Pope John Paul II sent an email apology to the victims of sexual abuse perpetrated by priests and other clergy in Australia and the surrounding region, acknowledging the scandal for the first time in his papacy.
In 2010, Pope Benedict XVI said in an 18-page letter that he was “truly sorry” for the abuse suffered by victims at the hands of Catholic priests in Ireland, O’Connor’s home country.
Perhaps with the benefit of hindsight, we can see Sinéad’s protest as a clarion call… and we can see Sinéad as more prophet than pariah.
In a tribute to O’Connor following her death, Irish comedian and actress Aisling Bea wrote on Instagram that “everything she stood up for and against then, including racism in the music industry, has been proved to have been needed and right…She was the original truth sayer who wouldn’t go easy into the night.”
I took our youngest child, our baby boy, to freshman orientation at Indiana University over the past few days.
On Saturday evening, he stayed in the hotel room with me. Sunday, we had some “classes” together on campus during the morning, then the students and parents split for different sessions, reuniting at dinner. We walked around campus for a bit after that, then he went to the student-only evening festivities, and stayed in a dorm room that evening. Yesterday we attended different sessions before meeting up around noon to head home.
The campus is gorgeous. The business school is top-notch. But the most important part of the trip was Sunday evening, when we parted ways. He wound up meeting and hanging out with a kid from Philly and a kid from Chicago. They stayed up until the wee hours of the morning. Just like the college kids do.
College is about expanding your horizons. His high school was diverse, but there were no kids from Philly or Chicago there. Soon he’ll be around 9,000 fellow freshmen from all over – East Coast, West Coast, Midwest… big cities and small towns. Over the next four years, out of that batch of 9,000, he’ll meet a handful of kids that will wind up becoming his best friends for life.
In less than a month, our baby boy will be moving into a dorm room again. Only this time it won’t be for a single evening. It’ll be for days and weeks on end.
So this entire trip was a test. A test for me. To help me practice letting go.
A couple of weeks ago, our youngest child graduated from Walnut Hills High School.
For him, it’s just another mile marker on his life’s journey. But for Mrs. Dubbatrubba and me, it’s the end of an era. No more high school schedules. No more early morning wake-ups. No more emails from teachers, parking passes, homecomings and proms. He’s starting a new chapter, and we’re closing the book.
Andrew will be off to Bloomington, Indiana, in just a few short months. These past few weeks have been good practice – ever since his graduation, he’s been “gone”… working, meeting up with his friends, going out with his girlfriend, and attending a seemingly endless conga line of grad parties. He’s quite the social butterfly – and he and his friends are starting to realize that their carefree days together are limited.
Meanwhile, we’re realizing that our true parenting days are coming to an end as well. When Andrew heads to Hoosier-ville, we won’t be empty nesters just yet, but that day is on the not-too-distant horizon.
We’ll still be “consultants” but we won’t be “essential employees” like we were when our kids were younger. The shift has been tougher than I imagined.
We’ve experienced the graduation of one Rocket (Gabriel) and three Eagles (Peter, Leah and Andrew) . We want all of them to soar, but we still love them to the moon and back.
Our son Peter graduated from Ohio University a couple of weeks ago. It was a gorgeous, sunny Spring day. Fitting, because his future is bright, and he’s still growing into the person he’ll become.
Peter got cheated out of some of the college experience (thanks COVID!). But in his own quiet, unassuming way, he put in the work. Triple major. Summa cum laude.
The academic prowess is great, but five years hence, it won’t matter as much. Your friends and co-workers won’t care what your major was – they’ll care about how you treat them. Peter’s summa cum laude in that department too. Kind. Caring. Gracious. Generous. Supportive. That’s what we’re most proud of.
It’s called “commencement” because it’s the start of the next chapter. We can’t wait to see what’s in store for him.
Silver lining: this post also references two families, half a world away from each other, who managed to look beyond their own grief at losing a loved one to depression, and start a charity that will help others in a similar situation.
Both text blocks above are from the Tinychanges.com website.
Text/imagery above from the Paws for Patrick website.
Please watch this video to see just a few examples of the ways that Paws for Patrick is making a difference:
What the Hutchison family is doing, and what the Roemer family is doing, is nothing short of emotional alchemy. Taking their tears, their grief, their pain, and redirecting it into something that will help others.
Image above from the Tiny Changes website.
The world is a lesser place without Scott and Patrick. The world is a better place because their families are keeping their memories alive. Godspeed to them.
“The reason why I wrote Fahrenheit is that I am a library person and I am in danger of someday writing something that people might not like and they might burn. So it was only natural that I sat down and wrote Fahrenheit 451.”
They say there is strangeness, too dangerous In our theatres and bookstore shelves That those who know what’s best for us – Must rise and save us from ourselves
Quick to judge, Quick to anger Slow to understand
Ignorance and prejudice And fear walk hand in hand
Rush “Witch Hunt” from their 1981 album Moving Pictures
It’s getting harder and harder to read a book… and easier and easier to get a gun. Which would you rather have in your kid’s hands?
blueandgolddreamer on Vive la Différence!: “Apathy is the worst. It says it all” Mar 25, 04:14
Thomas G Kuhl on (Basket)ball of Confusion: “So many thoughts. I agree that it should be about life lessons. Okay. I will go away quietly screaming” Mar 19, 02:57
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