Not scoring any points

by Damian | Feb 6, 2015 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

Pet Peeve alert: I can’t stand it when a sports broadcaster uses the term “score the basketball.” As in, “James LeBron is the Banana Slugs’ best offensive player… he really knows how to score the basketball.”

Using that term is so moronic (unless they happen to be announcers for a baseball game, then it’s just plain weird).  Technically, basketball players don’t score the basketball, they score points when the basketball goes through the net.  Just saying “score” would get the same point across (no pun intended); we don’t need “the basketball” part of it. Do the sportscasters think that if they don’t say “the basketball” we might wrongly assume that the player is going to arrange the music for the next Spielberg movie? Sorry, that job is probably already taken by this guy:

So if you’re a b-ball sportscaster and are tempted to say “score the basketball” remember the famous catchphrase of Marv Albert, and do the opposite.

Poor Tom Brady

by Damian | Feb 1, 2015 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

Happy Super Bowl Sunday! It seems like a lot of people in America don’t like the New England Patriots, and I don’t understand why. Their quarterback, Tom Brady, has really had a hard-knock life:

He’s married to someone named Gisele Bündchen. I’m not familiar with her, but from the sound of her name she’s probably some ugly German hausfrau.

His boss likes to spy on people. So if Tom is supposed to be studying the playbook but instead he’s wasting time surfing the Internet—probably looking at pictures of Victoria’s Secret models—his boss knows it and busts him for it. Think of how difficult those working conditions must be.

He has a rare medical ailment. I’m not sure what “deflated balls” means but it surely can’t be good.

His teammates would rather spend the rest of their lives in jail than play with him.

So if you’re not sure which team to root for today, root for the Patriots. Poor Tom needs your support.