I’d never heard of the website Defector until a few days ago, and didn’t realize that a gentleman named Drew Magary has been creating a hilarious annual “Hater’s Guide to the Williams-Sonoma Catalog” for several years now.

So thanks to my friend Daniele for putting the 2020 Hater’s Guide on my radar.

From the Defector website – Illustration by Jim Cooke

It is, hands down, the funniest piece I’ve read all year. Bitingly sarcastic, and laugh-out-loud (yes, an actual LOL!) funny.

The language is a bit salty, but Williams-Sonoma has earned every curse word with their exorbitantly priced wares.

Look again at that price. Now lemme add a few more gratuitous exclamation points. A H!!!U!!NDRED G!ODD!!!AMN D!!!!OLL!!!ARS!!!!!!! For a box of Hungry Jack, a squeeze bottle, a spatula, an obligatory tartan tchotchke, and some goddamn syrup. Now I’m a pancake enthusiast, so I know that the market for pure maple syrup is highly volatile. But for $100, I could drive to Vermont and tap a maple tree MYSELF to get the goods.

Drew Magary’s comments on the WILLIAMS-SONOMA CHRISTMAS BREAKFAST GIFT CRATE

Read it and weep – because you’ll be laughing so hard you’ll be crying.

BTW, my exhaustive research (i.e. typing “Defector website” into DuckDuckGo’s search box) has revealed that Defector is a bunch of… defectors from Deadspin.