Several weeks ago, I received a lovely gift and a short-but-sweet note from an old friend. She sent them in December, but it took a long while for the parcel to make its way across the pond.
Mija and I met in September of 1990. A Slovenian and an American in the south of Ireland. Two Slovenians, actually, as Mija was traveling with her friend Damjana. A month or so later, I reconnected with both of them in Ljublana as my sister and I were making our way across the continent. They were gracious enough to let us stay in their homes (a major upgrade from the youth hostels) and give us a guided tour of their hometown. I will never forget their kindness.
I’ve stayed in touch with both Mija and Damjana over the years, as they’ve each married, had two kids, and navigated the uncharted waters of adulthood. But I haven’t seen Mija in 30 years.
Always the bookworm
Mija’s son Jon, daughter Trina, brother Boris and husband Lovro
“Pen pals” is what they used to call it, and what it used to be. Now it’s the occasional email for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas… except for the note that Mija wrote at the end of 2019. Looks like we’re still pen pals.
Mija and Damjana tried to teach my sister and me a few Slovenian words back in 1990. Fittingly, the only one I remember is “hvala”… “thank you.” I will cherish the cup. I cherish the friendship even more.
Slowly but surely, more and more colleges are scheduling a return to campus for the Fall, despite the ongoing coronavirus pandemic and a predicted “second wave” when the weather turns colder.
The University of Notre Dame was one of the first to announce a return — they have 74,933 reasons to do so for each student:
Most college kids (mine included) were sent home around mid-March this year. Shortly thereafter, a lot of parents probably started doing some math… “What are we paying for if Junior is just staring at a laptop screen in our living room?”
What’s that ivory tower in the background worth?
Sure, most universities pro-rated room and board charges and sent a refund check to parents, but tuition for virtual learning was still taking a big bite out of their actual wallet.
Without the trappings of college… the football and basketball games, dorm life, the frat and sorority parties, homecoming weekend… why should someone fork over 30, 40, 50, 60, even 70-grand a year so Junior can get his degree?
Heck, online schools like Southern New Hampshire U. offer a lot of the same programs at a fraction of the cost, and the kid would still be staring at the same laptop screen. Those schools have been doing online courses for a long time too, so the programming is more polished, and the student experience is probably better. Kids are getting used to learning stuff via videos anyway… maybe instead of dropping $70K at ND, you can just pay $50 a month for a good wi-fi connection, and send the kids to YouTube U.
I’m not saying kids will drop out of college in droves, but I am saying the pandemic is a wake-up call for higher education. They’re realizing they need to up their game, and show a better ROI than “prestige”… especially when they’re competing for a smaller pool of students:
U.S. demographics are also shifting. The number of high school graduates is flat — and in some cases declining — because of lower birth rates about 20 years ago. Those numbers are also projected to decline, so the trend of fewer students coming from high school isn’t going away anytime soon.
You can’t spell “pandemic” without “panic” and my hunch is a lot of college administrators are getting a bit worried about a serious outbreak of tuition attrition.
It’s no laughing matter now…
Maybe all these colleges have a thoroughly vetted plan for bringing kids back to campus in a couple of months and keeping them safe. But some of the biggest COVID-19 outbreaks so far have been in prisons, and the dorms at most colleges have a pretty similar layout. (I know firsthand about the latter… not the former. Honest!) I have a hunch that a lot of schools are basing back-to-school on a wing and a prayer… and “business as usual” is more about the health of their business than it is about the health of their students.
Like most Americans, I’ve spent the past several days searching for answers to the latest (but sadly probably not the last) senseless murder of an African American. I’ve been reading a lot. This CNN article lays out racial inequality pretty simply and starkly. It started with slavery, but it’s continued to fester. Reconstruction. Jim Crow laws. Segregation. Redlining. Building interstates through black neighborhoods. Basing school funding on property taxes. The list goes on and on.
I’ve also been listening to quite a few podcasts that cover not just the George Floyd case, but the underlying causes of these sad outcomes. The Fresh Air interview below is one of the best I’ve heard. Terry Gross interviews Wes Moore, the author of several books about racial disparities, including his new one Five Days about the death of Freddie Gray in Baltimore in 2015. (A similar situation to George Floyd… we haven’t really made much progress in the past five years.)
The entire interview is below, but here’s a five-minute snippet that really brought things home for me:
“We have be able to address this level of inequitable policing that takes place in our societies and the lack of accountability that takes place when improper actions happen. We also have to deal with the underlying conditions that our citizens — and oftentimes our citizens of color — are repeatedly being allowed and being forced to endure. And if we don’t address both those two things together, we will continue just having to deal with the pain of the consequence of the one.”
Wes Moore
I couldn’t agree more. This is about much more than rogue cops… that’s just a symptom of a much larger disease. The systems are broken: poverty, systemic racism, housing inequalities, economic opportunities for minorities, health care.
We have to change the systems. It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight. But watching the peaceful protests, I’m hopeful and optimistic that the tide is finally turning… and a change is gonna come real soon.
I have two cats. They sleep all day, require zero attention and poop tidily.
My wife, however, has somehow hoodwinked me into allowing two dogs into the house. The first one was a Christmas gift, allegedly for one of our kids, but in hindsight that was just a good cover story. The second one was a service-dog-in-training. We “socialized” him for six months, then he went back to the nonprofit for several months of hardcore training. He didn’t pass the rigorous testing required of service dogs, so we (i.e. my wife) adopted him. I have a sneaking suspicion that my wife waved a raw steak in front of him when he was going through the final test, to ensure that he would drop out.
The dogs require daily walks, like to beg in the kitchen, sleep in our beds, nap on our couches and poop all over the yard.
I’ve told my wife that I’m going to build a big doghouse in the backyard, so the pooches can be outside dogs. But if I actually built it, I have no doubt who would be banished to it, and it wouldn’t be Bibo and Hope.
Are you familiar with the Nextdoor platform? It’s like a localized version of Facebook. In other words, you’ll find less posts about conspiracy theories, and more about lost cats. Here’s the official description:
Much like Facebook, it doesn’t take much time for even the most innocuous discussion to disintegrate into a flurry of name-calling, trolling, shaming and bullying. So I tend to avoid it for the most part (much like Facebook).
That said, I really want to party with this person:
Glitter in bulk – now there’s a new one. Perhaps this person is an in-demand party planner, and they’re looking to reduce costs with volume purchases. Or s/he could be the proprietor of a “gentleman’s club”… or perhaps just the world’s biggest Mariah Carey fan.
Or maybe, just maybe, this person is workshopping a Rip Taylor tribute act, and already purchased enough confetti at the Confetti R Us superstore, and now needs to mix in some glitter for a bit more pizzazz. A guy can dream, can’t he?
I think we can all agree that a Rip Taylor tribute act is something the world desperately needs right now.
I sure hope that Nextdoor neighbor finds their glitter… and turns it into comedy gold.
April is the cruellest month, breeding Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing Memory and desire, stirring Dull roots with spring rain.
— opening of “The Waste Land” by T.S. Eliot
May is the saddest month.
— dubbatrubba
We miss Scott
May has been a bummer since 2018, when Scott Hutchison, lead singer of Frightened Rabbit, took his own life that month, after battling anxiety and depression for years. He was 36.
Scott and yours truly at a music festival photo op, September 24, 2016
“Scott’s voice will always be with us. His words will always be with us. I’m not going to stop shouting from the rooftops or screaming from small stages about how amazing he was. I think it’s important that we remember him through the beautiful things that he put into the world.”
James Graham, lead singer of The Twilight Sad and friend of Scott Hutchison
Looking beyond their grief, Scott’s family established the Tiny Changes charity focused on mental health among young people in his native Scotland.
We miss John
This May has been particularly cruel, and overwhelmingly sad. John Erhardt, a guitar player with two local bands I adore (with names guaranteed to keep them in semi-obscurity: Ass Ponys and Wussy), passed away suddenly on May 4th. He was just 58.
John gave us a beauty that we’ll never see again. A combination of love, friendship, stability and that amazing swirling sound. Truly a wonder. A backdrop to everything that we are, in the band and in life.
Chuck Cleaver, John’s longtime friend and bandmate in both Ass Ponys and Wussy
John also was an outstanding director of photography and cinematographer in the Cincinnati area, well revered by his peers. Most importantly, he was by all accounts a prince of a man – kind, humble, caring, joyful, thoughtful, wonderful.
John also struggled with mental health. His family and friends are channeling their grief in a positive way – here’s the text from the GoFundMe linked below:
The untimely and sudden passing of our friend John Erhardt has us all asking, “What can we do to honor his memory? How can we continue John’s legacy to have a positive and lasting impact on others?”
As John’s wife, Denise, and his daughter, Elizabeth, experience their grief, they are determined to channel what they are feeling into a way to help those who struggle with mental health, as John did.
To support the cause, a fund is being established to assist organizations whose focus is advocating for and helping individuals and their families who contend with the disease of mental illness.
But I’ve hidden the real headline, because I’m in denial.
Back in my 97X radio days, we had a student intern named Steve. Great kid. Smart. Funny. Kind. Caring. We’ve managed to stay in touch over the years, as he migrated back to his Chicago home, got married and started a family. He’s one of the few (read “three”) regular readers of this blog.
Steve, center, with his old college roomie Joe (also a good friend and former 97X intern) at left, after a concert in Chicago in September of 2018
Sadly, tragically, Steve’s son Patrick chose to end his life on Monday, May 4th, after a long battle with severe anxiety and depression. He was just 18.
As you can only imagine, Steve, his wife Fronzie, and Patrick’s older brother Ben and younger sister Magdelene are heartbroken, devastated… a sadness beyond words. Inconsolable.
But to their eternal credit, they too are looking beyond their own grief, and hoping to help others. Patrick’s memorial service was online due to coronavirus restrictions. In a way, that’s a blessing, because the video message that Steve and Fronzie recorded, while heartbreakingly sad, is also a profile of courage and a message of love and hope to others who are struggling. Steve has given me permission to share it, and it should be shared. Please spend nine minutes of your day watching Steve and Fronzie’s tribute to their son, whom they love so much.
“It warms our hearts to know that Patrick’s life made an impact on so many.”
Fronzie and Steve Roemer
In light of Patrick’s battle with depression and anxiety and the sadness left in its wake, the Roemer family and their friends are in the process of creating a foundation dedicated to supporting young people who are suffering from mental illness. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that memorial contributions be made to gofundme. com/f/support-the-roemer-family. 100% of all future donations will be directed toward this foundation.
We know there are many people like Patrick who fight the same war against depression and anxiety. Your battles are real.
Steve and Fronzie Roemer
Please send your warm thoughts, your positive energy, your good vibes, your prayers – they give strength to the Hutchisons and the Erhardts and the Roemers. Please donate if you can – it’ll provide hope to other families facing similar challenges with mental health.
Comedic actor Fred Willard passed away this weekend at the age of 86. I loved his Jerry Hubbard character on Fernwood 2-Night.
He was funny in every part he played, even if it was only a bit part like in This is Spinal Tap.
He was consistently amusing in his many appearances on Letterman.
His characters in the Christopher Guest improv movies (Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind) were outstanding.
And he kept us laughing later in his career, with roles on Everybody Loves Raymond and Modern Family, as well as appearances on The Tonight Show and Jimmy Kimmel Live. He really elevated the laugh factor on every project he did.
“He was absolutely, unconditionally original. He worked so spontaneously. He had such a closet that he could go to. It was just remarkable. You never where he was going to go. He didn’t tip it.”
Here’s a great New York magazine interview with Scott Galloway, a marketing professor at NYU Stern School of Business… and the man who accurately predicted Amazon’s acquisition of Whole Foods and WeWork’s valuation bubble. It covers something that a lot of parents of college-age kids have been pondering during coronavirus lockdown: if my kid can’t be on campus, why am I paying the big bucks for School A vs. the much more economical School B?
There’s a recognition that education — the value, the price, the product — has fundamentally shifted. The value of education has been substantially degraded. There’s the education certification and then there’s the experience part of college. The experience part of it is down to zero, and the education part has been dramatically reduced. You get a degree that, over time, will be reduced in value as we realize it’s not the same to be a graduate of a liberal-arts college if you never went to campus. You can see already how students and their parents are responding.
It’s like, “Wait, my kid’s going to be home most of the year? Staring at a computer screen?” There’s this horrific awakening being delivered via Zoom of just how substandard and overpriced education is at every level.
excerpts from the article linked above.
Lots of interesting food for thought. Galloway predicts that the tech titans (Amazon, Apple, Google) will get into the higher ed game. Well worth a read.
And from the student side, Seth Godin has long advocated for changes in our factory model educational system. This coronavirus crisis also provides us with an opportunity to rethink… nay, reimagine, how schools are set up. His manifesto, Stop Stealing Dreams, is quite thought-provoking. You can download a PDF version here.
In the post-industrial model, though, the lectures are handled by best-in-class videos delivered online. Anything that can be digitized, will be digitized, and isolated on the long tail and delivered with focus. What’s needed from the teacher is no longer high-throughput lectures or test scoring or classroom management. No, what’s needed is individual craftsmanship, emotional labor, and the ability to motivate.
Seth Godin in Stop Stealing Dreams
The world has changed. Colleges, and all schools, need to change as well.
For better or for worse (and it’s mostly for worse), most of our news is delivered visually. And the old axiom of “if it bleeds, it leads” is more apt than ever before. People with their faces pressed against the statehouse doors? That’s a great photo op. White guys with assault weapons holding up signs? That makes for a clickbait-ready 30-second video loop. A crowded bar in Wisconsin is a novelty in novel coronavirus times, a car wreck that our eyes are drawn to.
George Romero’s next zombie film “Day of the Soon-to-be-Dead of COVID-19”
But while these fringe folks are dominating the latest news cycle (along with the Oompa Loompa in Chief), let’s not forget that the vast majority of Americans are acting in ways that are healthy, courteous, civil. Staying home. Limiting their contact with non-family members. Social distancing. Wearing masks in public. Respecting the rules that are set up to save lives. But there’s not a “hot story” in millions of Americans working together (albeit apart) for the common good.
Last time I checked, “Life” came before “liberty” in the Declaration of Independence. If we have to sacrifice a bit of the latter over a short period of time, to preserve the former, that makes sense to me. Especially when someone’s idea of “liberty” means overburdening the health care system and causing tens of thousands of needless deaths.
Rickey Dobbs explains it much more eloquently and entertainingly than I ever could, in this brilliant and hilarious post from his always-brilliant-and-hilarious blog Hitting the Trifecta. The post compares the “transmission rate” of motorcycle accidents to the transmission rate of coronavirus. Here’s an excerpt:
Here’s the thing: no one gives a White House Rose Garden rat’s ass about your “freedom” if exercising it results in a chain reaction that kills untold thousands upon thousands of people. Your freedom must be restrained, for the survival of all of us.
My personal preference, with regard to freedoms and such, is living. Further, I value keeping my grandma and mom and dad alive. I enjoy keeping my nephews and niece alive, too.
I’m willing to accept some risk in daily life. That’s why I drive a car, walk on the sidewalk, and use elevators. There’s a chance I could die from any of these endeavors, but it’s a tiny chance that is mitigated by safety measures. The risks to myself, but more importantly, to you and your kids, are tiny compared to the efficiency brought about by doing those activities.
But if it’s an actuarial certainty that your “freedom” will kill lots of nieces and nephews and grandmas, it becomes society’s obligation to make your exercise of your freedom conform to our collective, legitimate preference to remain members of CHOTSOD. (Club for Humans on This Side of the Dirt.)
So true. We have an obligation to play by the rules, for the greater good of society.
I get it, after 9 weeks in lockdown, everyone is a bit “shack wacky” as my friend Howard calls it. And I know small businesses are hurting, but they’ll suffer even more unless we stick with the plan. The health experts are saying we’re in the second inning of a nine-inning contest. We did a great job with #flattenthecurve but it’s way too soon to bail out now. Thank you for doing your part to #Stopthespike.
I can’t figure out how our youngest is 15 years old today.
Quarantine cake… and quarantine haircut courtesy of his older brother and an electric razor’s beard trimmer
Let’s see, 3 older siblings times one baby boy… carry the pumpkin seat… minus all those nights he toddled into our bedroom… divided by a million soccer games… yep, that adds up to 15.
He’s not much of a kid anymore but he’s still a great kid.
impossibly4332b32374 on Light. Laughter. Grace.: “That’s the reply you were talking about! And a reminder to get that book out. I do almost all of…” Apr 27, 15:36
impossibly4332b32374 on Light. Laughter. Grace.: “I’ve got The Wet Engine on my shelf, and think I read about half of it. Time for another look.” Apr 21, 09:15
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