It’s Day 3 of the week-long “Your Turn Challenge.” Today’s writing prompt is:
Tell us about something that you think should be improved.
I think the United States of America needs to improve its coverage of the Kardashian family. Oh sure, we’ve had 10 seasons of a reality TV series about the glabulous* lives of Kris, Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kylie and Kendall, as well as the Killer Bs: Bruce, Brody and Brandon… oh, and the brother whose name shall not be mentioned because it doesn’t start with a K or a B (sorry Rob). And there’ve been a few spin-off shows. And countless mentions on the infotainment shows that truly know what celeb-ration** is all about. But think of how many TV channels there are in our cable universe. Plus Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, et al. Geez, if they have a channel like CSPAN that covers the boring, not-camera-friendly Congress (sorry Mitch), and a handful of ESPNs, we should have about 20 Kardashian Channels at the bare minimum (sorry Kim).
Print media (yes, it still exists) is slacking too. OK, I’ll grant you that one or more of the Kardashian Clan appears on a People or US Weekly cover about every other week. But that’s not enough! The Kardashians are America’s version of the royal family. I won’t rest until all entertainment coverage is 99 and 44/100ths Kardashian, with a sprinkling of B.C. (Bradley Cooper or Benedict Cumberbatch, whichever you prefer).
And don’t even get me started on digital media. Sure, you can’t swing a Bruce Jenner wig without hitting a story about a member or three of the Kardashians (the real First Family, IMHO). But there’s so much more territory to cover. Instagram photos of baby North aren’t enough – we demand Instagrams of the dirty diapers. And c’mon Zuckerberg, quit resting on your laurels and invent ButtBook***, a social networking site devoted exclusively to the Kardashians’ superior posteriors.
“Keeping up with the Kardashians”? Hardly. Every day we’re losing precious ground. Unless we pick up the pace of Kardashian Koverage, the rest of the world will lose respect for us.
*it’s a mashup word I created, meaning glamorous and fabulous. All rights reserved.
** another mashup word for celebrity adoration. All rights reserved. Eat your heart out, Seacrest!
*** I trademarked it but will sell to Mark Zuckerberg for the right price.