My Top 10 resolutions/goals for 2017:
- Learn a new language. (Russian would seem to make the most sense.)
- Buy the world a Coke. (Just to clarify so we’re all on the same page, I’m buying a single Coke and all 7 billion of you will have to share. Don’t worry, I’ll spring for a 2-liter. Bring your own straw.)
- Have an attitude of gratitude… when I finally win that Powerball jackpot that The Man has been cheating me out of for years.
- Avoid all media references to Kim Kardashian and/or Kanye West. (So basically go live in a cave.)
- Sell my idea for bacon-wrapped Canadian bacon to Hormel or Oscar Mayer.
- Stop, collaborate and listen (per the instructions of self-improvement guru Vanilla Ice).
- Stop making lists for everything.
- Somehow convince our incoming president that “counterintelligence” has nothing to do with knowing the difference between granite, quartz and laminate.
- Finish what I start.