If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s side hustles that make absolute no money at all. In fact, you’re soaking in one right now.
In addition to this blog (time investment: 1-3 hours/week. Net revenue: $0/year), I also send out a weekly “this week in live music” post to a mailing list of 100+ fellow music fans (time investment: 2+ hours/week. Net revenue: $0/year).
But I finally came up with a sure-fire, can’t-miss, 100% guaranteed to make money idea: T-shirts with goofy slogans on them!
Why, what nearly- or newly-licensed young man wouldn’t want to wear this snazzy yet snarky shirt?
And what nearly- or newly-licensed young man OR woman wouldn’t want to have this shirt?
Stunt driver, get it? Oh, so wacky!
The answer to both questions, thus far, is: every darn kid in America.
But that’s just because they can’t find these shirts. Or more likely, because their parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends, in their desperate search for a 16th birthday gift that’s slightly more affordable than a $400 phone and/or $170 headphones, have yet to stumble upon these gems on Amazon.com (starting at the low, low price of $14.99 for the “stud” t-shirt!).
But they’re on Amazon. They’re also on Teepublic. And Redbubble, where in addition to t-shirts, you can get bumper stickers, coffee mugs, phone cases and dozens of other products emblazoned with the professional artwork shown here.
However, in the “long tail” world of online retail, it’s a bit of a Catch-22. You can’t sell merch until people know about your stuff, but they won’t know about your stuff until you sell some merch.
That’s where you come in, my friends. I suck at shameless self-promotion (present blog post excluded). I barely have a Facebook presence. Ditto for Instagram. I don’t do Pinterest. And if I order 10 t-shirts on Amazon and have them all shipped to my address, that won’t help get the ball rolling… Bezos will see right through my sham sales.
But if YOU buy a shirt, that will boost my “best seller rating” and move me up the search ladder, from my current status on the 361st page of search results, to — dare to dream — the first page! If you buy a shirt AND write a review? Jackpot! The tiny sales snowball will turn into an avalanche, and I’ll be laughing all the way to the bank with my $1.37 commission.
Yes, I know, I’m asking you to open your wallet. And I feel a bit like a slimy televangelist for doing it.
But surely you know someone who is just getting their driver’s license. Hook ’em up with a crappy t-shirt AND help out your old pal dubbatrubba at the same time. Win-win. (Except for your wallet.)
Even if you don’t spring for a shirt, please share an image of the shirt(s) and the Amazon link within your social networks. Post it, Pin it, Gram it… make a TikTok… whatever. (Right click on the t-shirt image above, then choose “save image as” to save it.) And if you know anything at all about Facebook ads or Amazon sponsored ads, let’s talk.
When I make my first million, we’ll have a giant party on my yacht and you’ll be invited. Pinky promise!
Thanks for helping promote the smallest small business in America!
Cincinnati’s pro football team is abysmal. Our baseball team is dismal. But in spite of that — or perhaps because of it — we’re #1 in another cherished sport: beer drinking!
Smartasset (great name, btw) used 5 factors to rank the cities:
Total number of breweries
Breweries per 100,000 residents
Average number of beers per brewery
Bars per 100,000 residents and
Average price for a pint of domestic beer in each city
Relative affordability and variety make the city a savory option for even the choosiest of beer lovers.
Our household has four pets. The two low-maintenance, no-muss, no-fuss cats? Those would be mine.
The “wake up” and “be awesome” parts are optional.
The two giant, stinky, dirty-pawed, have-to-let-them-out-no-matter-the-weather beasts? Those belong to my wife.
However, I usually get up before my wife, and as soon as the dogs hear signs of life, they are rarin’ to go. So I have to let them out each morning, and feed them breakfast. But dogs being the tricky creatures that they are, with no self-regulating stomachs, would bust out the “puppy dog eyes” when my wife got up, and act like they hadn’t just been fed.
Exhibit A: Hope, as in “I hope she falls for it.” Exhibit B: Bibo, the poor widdle pupper-wupper who is STARVING!
But their days (and nights) of doggie double dipping are OVER, thanks to a state-of-the-art solution called an “index card.”
“Breakfast” on one side, “dinner” on the other. Once we fill the bowl, we flip the script.
Don’t call PETA on me, these dogs are in no danger of starving anytime soon. They still use those puppy dog eyes to get a spoonful of peanut butter every day… and they occasionally help themselves to whatever food is within snout’s reach on the counter.
Be sure to tune in next time for Episode 2: Dogs taking up the entire bed.
I stumbled across this gem on Twitter yesterday… I’m sure every dog owner can relate.
That Twitter user, Dick King-Smith (@DickKingSmith) is the author of the book that was adapted into the movie Babe, and he has a bunch of fun animal videos. Good for a chuckle. Not that any of us need to waste any more time on the Interwebs on cat, dog, squirrel, emu, rabbit and seal videos.
Kevin Sullivan on Life advice from a man who lived it: “A good one Damian. Bring our lens into focus after the long weekend or our long life journey.” Jul 7, 09:38
Thomas Kuhl on We’re alive, because nothing happened.: “That is why we should celebrate every day when our feet hit the floor. Another to enjoy and share with…” Jun 25, 04:33
Thomas Kuhl on We’re alive, because nothing happened.: “This simply explains why we should celebrate every day our feet hit the floor. Another day to enjoy and share…” Jun 25, 04:31
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