Spoken and Unspoken

An incomplete list of the things I wish I’d said to one of my best friends, as he lay dying from brain cancer.

  • You have been a tried and true friend for more than 43 years, since we met in the dorms our freshman year. I’m truly grateful for our time together.
  • We had so much fun over those 43 years – and most of it was probably legal. I will cherish the memories.
  • My life is infinitely richer for having met you and having been befriended by you. I won the friendship lottery.
  • You truly are one of the nicest people in the world. Your sincerity, your empathy, your complete lack of guile – such great gifts to bestow upon us.
  • Your devotion to family is an example for all of us – a steadfast son, a devoted husband, a loving father, a doting “Pops” to your grandkids.
  • You are so brave. Your courage in the face of soul-crushing, heart-breaking news, just a couple of months past your 60th birthday, is admirable.
  • You are so strong. Even while the cancer ravaged your brain and body, you stayed positive, stayed resilient. You lived out The Serenity Prayer:
  • In your courageous — and serene — approach to your final chapter on earth, you taught all of us more about what really matters.
  • I love you, brother.

What I actually said to one of my best friends, as he lay dying from brain cancer:

“I love you, brother.”

The latter will have to suffice. I’m not good at goodbyes.

Rest in peace and supreme happiness, my friend. You’ve earned your wings.

John Hadden. March 6, 1964 — November 15, 2025.

My Boston Marathons (plural)

Last night, I got back from a four-day trip to Boston. It was yet another pilgrimage to see my favorite band doing three nights of shows.

It was like ComicCon, but for old guys who like guitar-driven, melodic rock circa the early 90s. (I’m being reductive – Buffalo Tom still puts out new albums occasionally, and their newer stuff is just as compelling as their older tunes. But still, they might want to look into sponsorship deals with hip replacement surgeons and Flomax.)

The venue holds about 400. 400 dedicated, dyed-in-the-wool fans, from all over – L.A., Baltimore, south Michigan, even Tasmania! And yours truly, representing the Flyover States Chapter of the Buffalo Tom Fan Club. The vibe is quite casual, as witnessed by the very “Puppet Show and Spinal Tap” look of the chalkboard sign in front of the Armory.

Buffalo Tom was never “massive”… but I love their music, and they’re good dudes. I’m so grateful that they’ve organized this festival for the past couple of years. Seeing and hearing them live brings me so much joy. They’re my jam!

Three nights of concerts (including an acoustic set Thursday with some very tasty cover songs from Echo & The Bunnymen, the Rolling Stones, The Cars, the Psychedelic Furs, New Order, Simon & Garfunkel, and Died Pretty).

Plus a book reading from lead singer Bill Janovitz’s latest book, which is about The Cars.

But wait, there’s more! A band Q&A, an autograph session, and cool opening bands (John Wesley Harding! The Moving Targets! Hilken Mancini and Melissa Gibbs! Elsa Kennedy!). Truly an embarrassment of riches for BT fans. A magical musical marathon.

Speaking o’ marathons, I clocked a ton of steps traipsing through Boston, Cambridge, Somerville, and Medford during my stay. I had to make a pilgrimage to Greystone, the amazing cafe/bakery in the South End that my first cousin once removed Jacqueline owns and operates, with an assist from her mom (“Cousin Patty” to me).

They weren’t around (Jacqueline just had Baby #3, and Patty was out of town for a wedding) but the morning bun was to die for!

I met up with the daughter/niece (respectively) of a couple of brothers who are friends of mine from college. (She works at Greystone!) And with husband/wife co-workers of mine who relocated to Boston a couple of years ago.

Boston Public Library. Harvard Square. Newbury Comics. Davis Square. Winter Hill Brewing. Cheapo Records. And green space galore!

I started walking and never really stopped.

I walked a Boston Marathon and a Boston Half-Marathon. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Buffalo Tom’s song “All Be Gone” says it best:

Seems like I was just a kid not so long ago

So many arrivals

So many hellos

Now my time behind is greater than my time ahead

Save up the minutes like flowers

Before they’re all dead and gone

While I can, I’m gonna lace ’em up, and keep on keepin’ on.

Miles of memories

This past weekend, my wife and my son Peter flew to Hilton Head, SC to run a half-marathon.

Meanwhile, I drove 278 miles to Nashville on Saturday to see The Beths in concert.

Oh, and then I drove another 88 miles to Lexington, KY on Sunday to see Kathleen Edwards in concert.

The thought of running around the block, much less 13.1 miles, doesn’t appeal to me at all. Yet I’m fine standing for two hours at a show. I don’t know about a “runner’s high” but I do know that hearing a great song live sends my spirits soaring.

Tina and Peter got a finisher’s medal after the race.

I got a setlist after Kathleen Edwards’ show.

My wife’s trying to run a race in every state. I think South Carolina was #26 or #27.

I don’t have a goal to see a concert in every state. But maybe I should.

They’re different kinds of miles, but they’re totally worth it if they bring you joy, and you’re making memories in the process.

Live music is my marathon. I’ll never stop running.

Permission granted

A bit of Monday morning inspiration courtesy of Austin Kleon:

Maybe it isn’t so much “inspiration” as “motivation to create a little perspiration.”

Drawing art, starting a business, writing a book – they all take effort. Even putting an album on the turntable (or creating a playlist) requires a bit of exertion.

You don’t need permission from anyone else. But you do have to do the work.


Austin Kleon is the New York Times bestselling author of a trilogy of illustrated books about creativity in the digital age: Steal Like An ArtistShow Your Work!, and Keep Going. He’s also the author of Newspaper Blackout, a collection of poems made by redacting the newspaper with a permanent marker. 

He sends out a weekly “10 things” email newsletter that’s always engaging. You can sign up for it in the sidebar of his website’s home page.

“Monetize” is not the prize

I’m way overdue for a Seth Godin reference. Lemme rectify that right now.

That’s Seth’s blog post from 10/2. In its entirety. (I should be learning his “economy of words” lessons too!)

When I read this post, I immediately thought of three things that don’t “pay me back”:

  1. This blog.
  2. The podcast I do with my buddy Dave.
  3. My music blog/whatchamacallit (where I also post podcast episodes).

They’re all loss leaders… I’ve earned the princely sum of zero dollars and zero cents, combined, from all three. (Quite the trifecta!)

I have to pay for the domain names, the podcast hosting, the WordPress hosting, anti-spam software… it probably comes out to just shy of $300 a year.

Don’t tell WordPress and Podbean and Akismet and Namecheap, but I’d gladly pay a lot more.

I’m not looking to “monetize” my efforts.

The blog has helped me be a better writer (still a work in progress), stay better connected with my friends, and even connect with one of my mom’s relatives in Italy. Pure gold. And my Cincinnati Magazine writing assignments most assuredly wouldn’t have happened without this blog.

The podcast about 97X seems like a fool’s errand. Very few people listened to the station when it existed, and it’s been off the air for two decades (or a mere 15 years if you include the dot-com era). But the people who listened to the station absolutely loved it. And somehow, some way, despite the lack of promotion (and the weird name of “97X Rumblings from the Big Bush”), they found the podcast. As I tell Dave all the time “every time we publish a new episode, we make 150 people very happy.” Through the pod, we’ve been able to reconnect with old friends, meet new ones, talk to musicians we admire (the latest episode features two members of Too Much Joy), and create a place for folks to relive some of their fondest memories. And hanging out with Dave — one of the most naturally funny people I’ve ever met — is always a treat.

My music blog? It’s mostly a “concert calendar” – every few weeks, I’ll post about the bands coming to town, and throw in a bunch of wacky music-related material. In other words, it’s a chance for me to connect my love of music with my love of being goofy. Sold!

Combined, my trifecta of trash takes up a decent amount of my time. And time is our most precious commodity. But I spend it willingly and gladly. I’m not getting “paid back in equal measure.” And that’s exactly the point!