their pain, your gain

Warning: this post references suicide.

Silver lining: this post also references two families, half a world away from each other, who managed to look beyond their own grief at losing a loved one to depression, and start a charity that will help others in a similar situation.

Both text blocks above are from the Tinychanges.com website.

Text/imagery above from the Paws for Patrick website.

Please watch this video to see just a few examples of the ways that Paws for Patrick is making a difference:

What the Hutchison family is doing, and what the Roemer family is doing, is nothing short of emotional alchemy. Taking their tears, their grief, their pain, and redirecting it into something that will help others.

Image above from the Tiny Changes website.

The world is a lesser place without Scott and Patrick. The world is a better place because their families are keeping their memories alive. Godspeed to them.

Ray and Rush were right

The reason why I wrote Fahrenheit is that I am a library person and I am in danger of someday writing something that people might not like and they might burn. So it was only natural that I sat down and wrote Fahrenheit 451.”

Author Ray Bradbury

NYC councilman Eric Bottcher, in December of 2022, from this ABC News article.

They say there is strangeness, too dangerous
In our theatres and bookstore shelves
That those who know what’s best for us –
Must rise and save us from ourselves

Quick to judge,
Quick to anger
Slow to understand

Ignorance and prejudice
And fear
walk hand in hand

Rush “Witch Hunt” from their 1981 album Moving Pictures

It’s getting harder and harder to read a book… and easier and easier to get a gun. Which would you rather have in your kid’s hands?

Why so serious?

I know my last few posts have been a bit more serious than you’d expect from a blog called “dubbatrubba.”

Let’s get back to some fun, shall we?

Here’s a quick clip of one of the best comedians going right now (and he doesn’t work blue – a rarity these days):

You can check out more from this special right here.

I hope you have a laugh or three today.

Man plans and God laughs

A week ago, I was supposed to be in New York City, visiting my older sister and brother-in-law, and going to a sold-out Jesse Malin concert at Webster Hall. Jesse was celebrating the 20th anniversary of the release of his solo debut album, The Fine Art of Self Destruction (one of my favorite albums ever). An impressive list of guest stars were joining him on stage – Lucinda Williams (one of my all-time favorite artists), Tommy Stinson of the Replacements (another fave band of mine), Cait O’Riordan of the Pogues, Aaron Lee Tasjan (fantastic young artist), Butch Walker, Cat Popper, Adam Weiner from Low Cut Connie…

By all accounts — including this one — it was a fantastic show.

Photos above by Bob Krasner.

I didn’t make it to NYC. I saw a better show. I saw the most amazing display of love and compassion ever, as my wife attended to her mother’s every need during her mom’s last hours on earth.

My mother-in-law had been living with us since December, after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. At first, she used a walker to get around, but after a second stint in the hospital in February, she was confined to a hospital bed in our living room. My wife slept on the floor next to her for weeks, so she could be there in those times of need. Feeding her. Changing her. Bathing her. Administering the meds that lessened the physical pain. Providing the love that gave her mother comfort. Holding her hand as she exited this earth.

Sorry Jesse, Lucinda, Tommy, et al. You know I love you, but my wife is the true rock star.

Did an angel whisper in your ear

And hold you close, and take away your fear

In those long, last moments…

Lucinda Williams “Lake Charles”

Sports are life. But not really.

If you need a healthy dose of perspective on March Madness, I suggest you come over to my house to watch the games.

I’m a Xavier University alum, and have been a season ticket holder for decades. But in the midst of their furious comeback on Friday, I had to turn the TV off. Because the parish priest came over to administer anointing of the sick to my mother-in-law, who is battling terminal cancer. She’s been in a hospital bed in our living room for the past month. Forget “March Madness” – this is March Sadness.

I grew up in Arkansas and love the Razorbacks. Yesterday they too rallied in their tourney game, and managed to knock off #1 seeded Kansas.

(Photo by Michael Reaves/Getty Images)

But there’s nothing quite like administering liquid morphine during a commercial break to give you a better understanding of what really matters. “Survive and advance…”

Nothing I’ve seen on the TV screen can match the courage, the bravery, the tenacity, the heart, the strength that I’ve seen from my mother-in-law. Her outcome is no longer in doubt, but she’s already won.

Sports may be life, but it’s not life and death. The pain of losing pales in comparison to the pain of loss.