Apparently there’s a new Chucky movie coming out this year. I find it tough to get really scared by a child’s doll… unless it’s the doll that my older brother and I stole from our kid sister when she was five. We cut off all of the doll’s hair (what older brother hasn’t done that?). But we didn’t stop there. We painted her eyes with glow-in-the-dark paint. Now that was super-freaky, and not in a Rick James way.

But how can something induce spine-chilling fear when it doesn’t even have a spine? I know kids who can break toys in their sleep, just by rolling over onto them.

I’ll admit there’s something creepy about Chucky’s eyes. But if he can get his own seven-film franchise, then here are some other movie pitches:


First she’ll talk your ear off… and she won’t rest until you DIE of boredom. 



betsy wetsy

She’ll make YOU pee your pants with fright. 


baby sees all

She knows what you did last summer. 


Why limit it to dolls, though? How about other classic kiddie toys?


The next thing he’ll be digging… IS YOUR GRAVE!