Here’s a plastic surgery ad from a recent issue of Cincinnati Magazine:
I had no idea there were so many options… face lift, neck lift, eyelid lift (isn’t that called “waking up”?), volume lift, fat transfer (isn’t that what happens when you take a Twinkie out of the box and put it in your mouth?)… and things with sci-fi names like Dysport and Liposonix.
Here’s a better idea: accept your body the way it is. Warts and all. Saggy eyelids and all. Embrace the aging process, or at least deal with it in a way that doesn’t involve scalpels, injections, suctions or concoctions with an “SM” next to their name.
I have a theory that plastic surgery doesn’t just remove or reposition unwanted flesh, it also steals brain cells. So perhaps you’ll look a bit better but you’ll be a lot dumber. And looking better isn’t always guaranteed. Look at poor Meg Ryan, who went from America’s Sweetheart to looking like a stunt double for The Riddler.
Here’s a Twilight Zone episode that teaches a beautiful lesson about aging.
If you don’t have 25 minutes to spare—but you should always have 25 minutes to spare for Rod Serling—here’s the best line from the show, a quote from Robert Browning:
“Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made.”
Every year, someone would drop a two-ton Yellow Pages book on our front porch… and they’d drop one on the porch of every other house on our street. And on every street in the neighborhood, the city, and the world for all I know. Seriously? Who uses the Yellow Pages print edition anymore? Marty McFly? Are they looking up “Betamax Repair Shop” in it?
Are they trying to hire a private investigator?
Our gargantuan edition went directly from our front porch to the recycle bin, just like it has for the past decade. But the prime directive of the green living trifecta is “reduce” (then reuse, with recycle as the last, least efficient option). So I found out that we can opt out of Yellow Pages print delivery. You can too. Let your fingers do the walking on your computer keyboard, and sign up here: https://www.yellowpagesoptout.com/.
Tell your neighbors about the opt-out option too – based on the heft of the YP tome, we can save a tree or two per house, easily.
I like beer. Sometimes it loves me back. These days we only get together on the weekends, which is good because if we see each other too often I get a headache.
Until this Thanksgiving, my post-college retail beer purchases had been relegated to cans or bottles. But now I’m on board the growler bandwagon. I know I’m late to the party – and all the hipsters have been there a while – but I didn’t think growlers made sense for me. Because I drink beers so infrequently, and when I do I only have a few, I thought a growler would just mean that I’d buy a half-gallon of beer and most of it would go bad and I’ve have to toss it. Somewhat akin to buying a 5-gallon vat of mayonnaise at a club store. And I hate wasting money. I’m worse than this guy:
But if you do the math, a 64-oz. growler is a mere 4 pints, and you can get it filled a lot cheaper than buying 4 pints at a bar or taproom. A lot of the startup craft breweries aren’t even canning or bottling their product yet, so the growler is the only way to take some home with you. My first growler fill was a limited edition Opera Cream Stout from Blank Slate Brewing. It’s delightful, but only available for a few weeks each year. Short of taking up residency in the Blank Slate taproom, my growler was the best way to prolong the enjoyment.
A growler is perfect for trying out new beers, too… enough to determine whether or not you like it, without getting stuck with leftover cans or bottles in your fridge. It’s a nice way to bring beer to parties as well.
All this beer talk has left me parched. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get a refill…
If, like me, you’re a word nerd (or perhaps you prefer the more appealing appellation of “linguistics lover”), this article from the Washington Postis a must-read. It’s about how — and why — the WaPo is changing their official abbreviation for microphone from “mike” to “mic” and how they’re ditching the hyphen in e-mail. Fascinating stuff about how our living, breathing language evolves over time.
Kevin Sullivan on Life advice from a man who lived it: “A good one Damian. Bring our lens into focus after the long weekend or our long life journey.” Jul 7, 09:38
Thomas Kuhl on We’re alive, because nothing happened.: “That is why we should celebrate every day when our feet hit the floor. Another to enjoy and share with…” Jun 25, 04:33
Thomas Kuhl on We’re alive, because nothing happened.: “This simply explains why we should celebrate every day our feet hit the floor. Another day to enjoy and share…” Jun 25, 04:31
You done said…