Since January 1st, I’ve been keeping a gratitude journal. I know, it sounds very Sedona/Oprah. But it works:
A 2003 study by Emmons and McCullough found that keeping a daily Gratitude Journal leads to an increased sense of well-being and, something we all crave, better sleep. A willingness to accept change will become the norm. Giving thanks in this manner can also help lower symptoms of physical pain. That is powerful.
And for the past few months, I’ve been receiving a daily email from The Network for Grateful Living (https://gratefulness.org/) HT to my buddy Phil for putting it on my radar. On their home page, you can subscribe to their “Word For The Day” email. “Word For The Day” is a misnomer, it’s more like “Quote For The Day” but either way you get just a few words to ponder. Like this one:
Or this one:
I know that email inbox overload is real, but this one is always well worth the 10 seconds it takes to read it. Sign up, and get grateful. And here’s your soundtrack while you’re writing your gratitude journal:
The true magic of the world wide web isn’t cat videos. OK, maybe that’s part of it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Dbvd4E-334
But the real miracle is its ability to connect us. Across the miles. Or in my case, across nearly half a century. Two and a half years ago, I wrote a blog post on my mom’s birth date, about how I was so young when she passed away that I don’t really remember her. You can read it here:
A couple of weeks ago, on my birthday, someone commented on that post:
(JC = Jersey City, New Jersey. And don’t worry, she later realized she misspelled Damian. )
Needless to say, I did connect with Veronica “Ronnie” S. (nee Wain). She said she and her siblings would often wonder about what happened to their old neighbors on Liberty Avenue in Jersey City. She Googled my dad’s name recently and saw his obituary. A few more searches led her to a blog post from 2015… on a blog that only a handful of people even know about… it’s a web miracle!
Ronnie was able to provide several tidbits of info about my mother, helping me fill in the blanks and connect a few dots, and start to “know” a mom I don’t remember. Her email was far and away the most wonderful email I’ve ever received (sorry Nigerian prince who wants to share his millions with me).
I’m sharing her wonderful note here because it made me smile… through the tears, of course:
I have endearing memories of your mom from the 1960s that I’d like to pass to you: She had a beautiful smile, always, and looked exactly like the photo on ur page (wearing the pretty coat). Your mom and dad were both devout Catholics. When she was expecting Jeanne she would attend Mass on weekdays. Our family didn’t have a car and to save us the bus, train, bus trip to North Arlington to visit our brother Joe, she would often drive us, despite having so much to do at home. When Marie graduated from high school, your mom was kind enough to contact someone at Thacher Proffit law firm and secure her an interview; she was offered a secretarial job soon afterwards. She subsequently worked for William Simon at Salomon Bros., before retiring from the Port Authority of NY/NJ in 2000. Your maternal grandmother would visit you often, and I recall visits by your Aunt (Florence?) as well. She always dressed impeccably……I loved her hats! My mom enjoyed chatting with your grandmother (she was a lovely, soft spoken person!) and she shared stories of your uncle’s S.J. missionary work in the Philippines. Your grandmother missed him and sometimes worried about him. Your maternal grandfather would visit and help with small jobs around the house. He amended the soil in the front yard so Olga could have a small garden. He planted tomatoes and flowers there. We didn’t see him later in the 60s….I don’t know whether he predeceased your mom or, after her death, was too broken-hearted to return. John was very attached to your mom and would always be in her arms…..until you arrived, Damien (you were the sweetest baby!). Then he took his place by her leg. There was a back room on the first floor of your house and she asked my mom for advice on turning it into a playroom for you, J, J and V. I would see your mom from time to time as I passed your house on my way to the Blvd. bus, going to high school. She always showed an interest in what was going on in my life, and offered me advice. She did very thoughtful things……like one summer day, taking me for a ride to your aunt’s (Pat?) house in Verona. I remember hearing them laugh and talk in the kitchen. I think your mom was very close to her. Your mom and mine talked almost every day…..usually outside when the weather was nice, over the backyard fence or by phone. Olga was an authentic friend in every sense of the word……and the sister my mom never had. My mom never quite got over her death. Our neighbor George Martine (wife, Sabina, who also passed away around that time) missed her terribly as well. We knew she had become seriously ill yet never expected she would be hospitalized and not return home. Many neighbors and friends attended her wake and funeral Mass. (Damien, I think you all were too young to attend her wake….I didn’t see you there.) After her death, your grandmother came almost daily to help your dad, and close neighbors checked in and did whatever they could. When he decided to move to Arkansas we were really sad yet knew he did it with your best interests in mind. NJ was becoming pretty unaffordable even then. When he returned east to visit family, he would stop by to see my parents, and they would pick up on conversations, like he had never been away. (I believed they continued to exchange Christmas cards and letters about family life….and baseball.) I happened to be home for one visit (I had since married and move to West Orange) and was really surprised to to see that Jeanne had accompanied him. She was all grown up and sooooo beautiful!
The most significant lesson I continue to value from life on Liberty Avenue was we didn’t have much materially, and I sensed your mom and dad struggled more, yet we had everything we needed.
Damien, I have no doubt you, Jeanne, John and Virginia are fine, fine people and ultimately that is the most enduring tribute to your mom and dad.
My mom in Jersey City at the park close to our house.
God bless you, Ronnie – you gave me a priceless gift on my birthday. And:
“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans” is a phrase that comes to mind when I think about Robert Siegel’s recent retirement from NPR. He spent a whopping 41 years at NPR, the last 30 of them hosting All Things Considered. He did it with eloquence, with intelligence, with style, with a twinkle in his voice. And his long and illustrious NPR career was never part of his plan:
“No one is more surprised by my tenure than I am. I came to NPR on what I thought was an unfortunate but necessary detour that — I hoped and figured — would last a couple of years. I’m a native New Yorker and the New York FM radio station where I worked was sold in 1976 and — to put it mildly — I didn’t figure in the new owner’s plans.”
But to merely reprint his words doesn’t do justice to the man who spent decades as trusted voice in the lives of millions, a faithful co-pilot on the daily commute. Listen to his sign-off below.
Ah yes, no one else this side of Corporal Max Klinger on M*A*S*H could work in a reference to the Toledo Mud Hens and have it feel so natural! Thanks a million, Robert Siegel. While you may have started your NPR career with other plans, you wound up exactly where you belonged: in our homes, in our cars, and in our hearts.
In the Antebellum South, in states such as Alabama, a white plantation owner a would make a fortune based on the back-breaking, involuntary labor of African American slaves, who got nothing.
In 2018, Nick Saban earned $11.13 million for leading the University of Alabama to the national championship in football. His players, the vast majority of whom are African American, did the back-breaking labor, risking injury on every snap, and got nothing.
Some will argue that the players are “paid” via their scholarships. But ‘Bama played 14 games (their opponent, Georgia, played 15) from September through January, and if you throw in off-season conditioning, Spring practice, summer two-a-days and fall practice, it’s virtually a year-round sport.
Under current NCAA rules, during a playing season and while school is in session, athletes are supposed to spend no more than 20 hours a week on required athletic activities… However, NCAA surveys of athletes have shown – and school and conference officials readily acknowledge – that athletes spend much more time than that on their sports. (Source: https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/college/2016/11/02/ncaa-rules-student-athletes-time-academics/93164832/)
So essentially college athletes are holding down a demanding full-time job while also constantly traveling, and they’re still expected to keep up with their classwork. Would you want to trade places with them? Did we mention you’ll get tackled by 320-pound linemen? Oh, and if your grades slip, your “guaranteed” four-year scholarship can be revoked.
Alabama freshman quarterback Tua Tagovailoa (#13 on the roster) entered the game at halftime and rallied his team to victory.
No doubt the University of Alabama bookstore has been doing a brisk business in #13 jerseys this week.
Who gets that cash… and the cash from the billion dollar TV contracts and ticket sales? The NCAA, the schools, the coaches… everyone except the players. Read more here.
For 2011-12, the most recent year for which audited numbers are available. NCAA revenue was $871.6 million, most of which came from the rights agreement with Turner/CBS Sports. (source: http://www.ncaa.org/about/resources/finances/revenue)
Back in 1982, legendary Marquette basketball coach and TV color commentator Al McGuire spoke at Xavier University. I remember him saying that college athletes should get some sort of stipend, a bit of cash so they could buy a slice of pizza when they were out with their friends. Here we are nearly 40 years later — or 160 years later if you count from the plantation era— and nothing much has changed.
Happy 2018! May it be filled with peace, love and understanding. (HT to Nick Lowe.)
Most folks who make (and break) New Year’s resolutions usually focus on breaking bad habits or some form of self-flagellation.
This year, why not focus on adding more pleasure to your life instead… via the written word. “Read more” is a nice positive resolution, and one you can keep with these great tips from Austin Kleon:
Austin’s Steal Like An Artist book is highly recommended for your reading list. And if you want to double-down on resolutions, another good one would be “subscribe to Austin Kleon’s weekly newsletter” – there’s always plenty of wonderful food for thought in each issue, so your brain can gorge itself while your body stays on its New Year’s diet.
I spend a lot of time walking through cemeteries. Don’t judge. I’m not some Tim Burton goth. It’s just a great place to walk a dog (hello, Mt. Washington Cemetery), and also a great place to get some exercise when your kids are practicing at the school nearby (looking at you, Walnut Hills Cemetery).
In all my tombstone travels, this is hands-down the best name I’ve ever seen.
Fearnaught = fear naught = fear nothing.
“Do not fear death, but rather the unlived life. You don’t have to live forever. You just have to live.” – Natalie Babbitt
Damian on Lost in a Cave: “Spend some time with his answers to fans’ questions on his Red Hand Files. You’ll enjoy it.” May 10, 19:25
impossibly4332b32374 on Lost in a Cave: “BTW, this is Chuck Wiggins…I guess I’m now known as impossibly4332b32374. That moniker has gone with me to a few…” May 10, 15:19
impossibly4332b32374 on Lost in a Cave: “I can resonate with that definition of prayer. I need to dig into him more. I’d love to hear how…” May 10, 15:18
LK on And they’re off!: “I feel this! I did the half with my son (mostly walking/cheating). It will rain as one of the happiest…” May 8, 06:47
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