It’s my buddy Matt, his wife Danielle, and their kids Hannah and Donald.
Matt’s a great dude. We worked together for 14 years. Fellow Xavier alums. You won’t meet a more gregarious guy than Matt. He knows everyone, and is always quick to help folks connect. A true “glue guy” in the best sense.
He’s a giver too. When his wife Danielle was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago, he took it upon himself to spearhead our company’s involvement in the Ride Cincinnati event that raises funds for local cancer research, education, and care. Heck, he even rode a bike into one of our all-company meetings to drum up more riders and support.
A couple of years ago, he had nice things to say about our Ride ride (no, I didn’t stutter) and about me.
Right back at you, Matt!
Here’s the All-American family today:
Danielle fought the good fight. She was beating breast cancer. But then, a few months ago, the cancer had not only returned but had spread rapidly. She passed away last month. She was 49. So young. So unfair.
“Heartbreaking” doesn’t do it justice. To have been side by side with your life partner through the cancer battle (double mastectomy, chemo, radiation, dozens of doctors visits and tests…) and to hope and pray that maybe you were one of the lucky ones… only to have the cancer come back with a vengeance, and have your whole life upended in the blink of an eye.
And now Matt’s a single parent, raising two young kids. The math doesn’t work nearly as well – not just financially, but also from a practical standpoint. Soccer, baseball, theater, whatever… one person can’t be in two places at the same time. We take “watching the kids” for granted when we have a spouse. When that partner passes away, it creates an enormous void, across the board. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. Practically. And yes, financially. Friends of Matt have set up a GoFundMe for the puzzle that will always have a piece missing.
“If you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you”
My dad faced that same void. Four kids under age 7, and a wife passing away from leukemia at the age of 33. So young. So unfair.
I don’t think my dad ever really recovered. How can you? But I’ll do my best to make sure that Matt, the gregarious guy I know and love, has my support. Not just this month, but ongoing. It’ll take a lot of love and support. Which can be as simple as giving one of his kids a ride to practice.
We can’t fill the void, but I hope we can make it slightly less scary.
This past Friday, several of my college friends and I shared a toast.
Not this kind:
And not this kind either:
Although I wish it were – it’d be a lot less sad.
This was a coast-to-coast toast to our dearly departed friend LJ. Friday would’ve been his 62nd birthday. Instead it was his first heavenly birthday.
My old college roommate Art and his wife Sheila picked up LJ’s wife Patty and went to a church fish fry (’tis the season) where Patty’s college suitemate Joyce and I met up with them. Then we walked to a nearby brewery taproom to raise a glass to LJ.
Because I care about connection (or maybe I’m just a sentimental sap), I asked the rest of the XU crew to send along a photo of them toasting LJ, so I could share the pix with Patty. Raising some spirits to raise spirits.
Unlike when we were in college, this time our XU crew completed their homework assignment with flying colors.
Phil and Suzanne (Patty’s volleyball teammate at XU) were in Sonoma County in California, visiting Katy (another XU alum).
Vinnie checked in from his snowbird perch in Naples, FL.
Closer to home, Mike & Missy posted a toast from their regular Friday hangout in Indianapolis…
And their daughter-in-law Donna and daughter Colleen (who met LJ and Patty in Florida last September) also joined in.
Billy raised a glass in Akron.
Kevin in D.C. got artistic with his shot.
Rick and his wife Chris checked in from Delray Beach, FL.
Walter and his wife Blakey paid tribute in Louisville, KY.
Tom got kids and grandkids in on the action. A sippy cup salute!
Brian was on vacation somewhere, but he still sent his love.
Mike B. – looking much more dapper than usual – also checked in from Indy.
And Mrs. Dubbatrubba – who couldn’t join us at the brewery due to her work schedule – raised a Muskie glass for our Muskie friend.
We weren’t together, yet we were together.
The same holds true for our bond with LJ. Even though we’re no longer together, we’re always together. Forever and ever. Cheers to that!
Operation Epstein Distraction II is underway. The “very stable genius” and the man who ended seven… no, make that eight, wars, has now destabilized the entire Middle East. Because allegedly Iran was a week away from nukes. Even though the aforementioned very stable genius claimed that he “totally obliterated” their nuclear program about eight months ago. Those Iranian scientists are quite industrious — maybe we should get them to work on lowering the price of groceries, or the cost of U.S. healthcare, or on releasing all of the Epstein files.
Here are some great questions:
There’s not a plan. There’s never a plan. Only greed, revenge, ego trips. Elect a person with the impulse control of a toddler and this is what you get. This is what we get. This is what soldiers are dying for…
Here are some more points to ponder:
#5 is the most salient. Wars are easy to start and hard to stop.
Have we learned nothing from Afghanistan? Iraq? Vietnam?
Kudos to the folks who spun up the DraftBarronTrump.com website after the very stable genius started dropping bombs (other than the ones in his diaper).
The very stable genius creates a mess, and we have to clean it up. (Now we know how the White House staff feels after he hurls another ketchup bottle.) This mess will go on for years, if not decades. Why? And now what?
(The tweets above and the link to the DraftBarronTrump website are courtesy of Jeff Tiedrich’s daily Substack posts, which are “The Emperor has no clothes” on steroids. Equal parts profane and profound.)
James Marriott’s long Substack post from last September probably won’t reach as many eyeballs as it needs to. Because it’s a long read – and hardly anyone reads anymore.
The post is equal parts sobering and depressing, with a dollop of scary on top. Since the smartphone was launched, we’re all reading less, but especially our kids.
The invention of the printing press democratized learning.
But the launch of the smartphone started sending our civilization in the other direction.
The “smartphone” is making us a lot dumber.
It’s turning civilized political debate into pro wrestling.
And because the big tech companies rely on our “engagement” for revenue, they profit from this race to the bottom.
Our civilization is at stake, and the clock is ticking (but not TikTok-ing). The smartest way to fight the smartphone scourge is to put down your phone, and pick up a book.
In no particular order here are some of the lifelong friendships I forged during my four years at Xavier University:
Hot Apples, Thin Man, Dutch, LJ, Wally, Donger, Chubby Howard, Freaky Tiki, Fert, Maynard, Fly, T-Biscuit, Consuelo, Horsehead, Mr. Youngstown, Bittey Main, LC Greenwood, Dingo, Hanna Banana, Carol Marol, Flynner, Craiger, Cron, Dr. Nick, TK, Tone Loc, DC Cab, Johnny Jackass, LB, JB…
The list goes on, but I’ll stop there. Also the names have been changed to nicknames to protect the innocent (or, much more likely, the guilty).
Nearly 44 years ago, a poor hillbilly from Arkansas arrived on Xavier’s campus for freshmen orientation. (It was his first time seeing the campus – college visits during high school are for the coddled.) He carried nothing more than what could fit into his two suitcases. Along with some emotional baggage. And a healthy dose of trepidation. Coming from a high school graduating class of a whopping 19 people, in the sticks, just being in a city was daunting enough, let alone trying to make his way at a school he knew very little about.
He learned a bit in his classes. He learned a lot more from life beyond the classroom walls. In the dorms, in the cafeteria, at the b-ball games, at the bars.
A litany of happy memories. A life filled with friendship. My bank balance is still low (Mrs. Dubbatrubba can attest), but I’m not poor anymore. My life is so rich because of the friends I made more than four decades ago who are still my friends today. Friends who have been there for the ups and downs, the happy and the sad.
Life happens. And death too. We’ve lost a few friends, most notably LJ and Ned. We miss them every day, but we are grateful that they were part of our lives.
Thankfully, some of the folks listed above actually paid attention in classes. And they had the grand idea to start a new scholarship fund at Xavier. One that will provide a bit of a boost to kids who want to return to Xavier for their sophomore year, but are struggling to make the finances work. The math ain’t mathing, as we hillbillies say.
Several of us have anted up. (My contribution has fewer zeroes behind it, but every little bit helps.) LJ and Ned were the inspiration, but we want it to go beyond our core crew.
It’ll make sure that a kid… and eventually, with more contributions and the miracle of compounding interest, many kids… don’t get cheated out of happy memories and lifelong friends.
It’s called the XU Lifelong Friends scholarship fund.
A very fitting name for an extremely worthy cause. Because just like Xavier’s namesake Musketeers, we are “all for one and one for all.”
A.I. is a powerful tool. But when you use power tools, there’s an element of danger involved.
There’s the danger of AI data centers using up too much of our precious resources.
There’s the danger of putting more power into the hands of just a few tech billionaires, who already have too much control over our lives and the information (using that term very loosely) that we consume.
Obviously we’ve already seen the repercussions in the job market, as AI replaces human beings – whether justified or “AI-washing.”
At lunch the other day, a friend of mine pointed out another danger I hadn’t considered before. When we start to rely on AI to do all our research, we miss out on the joy of discovery – including sometimes discovering information about “B” when we were researching “A.”
We’ll no longer have a sense of accomplishment, and pride in “figuring things out” on our own.
We might lose that precious sense of curiosity that spurs us on – as individuals and as a civilization.
As anyone who has done an online search can attest, all of the tech companies are shoving AI at us, whether we asked for it or not.
I’m not a Luddite, and I’m not suggesting we throw the AI baby out with the bathwater. But sometimes doing your own research can be more rewarding. And less dangerous.
Kevin Sullivan on War… why? And now what?: “I read your post Damian and I like it very much. As we move from a Saturday morning headline of…” Mar 3, 09:22
Damian on Smartphones are making us dumb.: “Thanks for (not) reading the post, Kevin. And thanks for mentioning several other formats (article, essay, poem) that can train…” Feb 23, 19:55
Kevin on Smartphones are making us dumb.: “You know I didn’t read your post because I don’t need to. The lack of reading of all generations reveals…” Feb 23, 10:32
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