In other breaking news, water is wet

Saw this “news alert” on my phone recently:

h is bad

 

Wow, turns out heroin is bad. Who knew?

In fairness to the Cincinnati Enquirer, the report is a thorough examination of the flaws in the current arrest/treatment system, and well worth a read. But they really need to work on their teaser headlines.

 

Sorry folks, park’s closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya.

Activities that have been cancelled on me recently: 

1. The Replacements concert in Columbus, OH in early May. I was really looking forward to this show because I love the ‘mats. Originally the show was merely postponed… but apparently they couldn’t find a decent reschedule date so they eventually cancelled the gig. The reason it didn’t go on as scheduled was because lead singer Paul Westerberg was ailing. Or maybe Tommy got his tonsils out.

2. Jesse Malin concert in Newport, KY in mid-April. Yet another concert I was really looking forward to, because I love Jesse and adore his new album, New York Before the War. But I’m assuming he bailed out because his typical shows in the Cincinnati area are high on energy, but low on attendees. He did an in-studio performance at a Pittsburgh radio station the next afternoon to plug his Pittsburgh show – probably a wiser move economically. Ironically enough, Jesse opened two shows for the Replacements in London in early June… Bastards!

 

3. Paddlefest. It’s not nearly as dirty as it sounds – it has nothing to do with spanking, just paddling down the Ohio River in kayaks, canoes, paddleboards and other people-powered watercraft.

paddlefest

It’s a wonderful event where a 10-mile stretch of the mighty Ohio is closed to barge traffic for several hours, and paddlers own the river. Peaceful, relaxing, beautiful… but this year Mother Nature had other plans. Heavy rains from Tropical Storm Bill made the river too rapid and risky for a bunch of amateur Gilligans.

Activities that have NOT been cancelled on me recently: 

  • property tax bill
  • dentist appointment for 2 cavities
  • colonoscopy
  • my son’s 7:15 a.m. soccer game an hour away… and it started raining with thunder and lightning shortly after the game started so it was called off. Basically we spent 2 1/2 hours driving so he could play 15 minutes of soccer.

 

sorry-folks-parks-closed

I know just how you feel, Clark.

Let’s hear it for Herb

Happy Father’s Day! Sure, we only get one day a year but this year it’s the longest day of the year.

I’m thrilled, blessed and grateful to be the father of four great kids. On Father’s Day in particular, I think of my own father, Herbert, who also was the father of four. His wife died at age 33, of leukemia, just a few months after the diagnosis. Dad was left to raise four children under the age of 7 all by his lonesome. How do you survive that gut punch, that heartbreak, that total meltdown of your world? In many ways, my dad never did fully recover. But he did the best he could. We moved from Jersey City, NJ to Hagarville, Arkansas – from the big city to the tiniest speck on the map in the foothills of the Ozarks. “Culture shock” doesn’t do it justice. However, it was a great place for us to grow up with a single parent, and has made my life experiences richer.

We were dirt poor, but our dad bestowed gifts upon us that were priceless: kindness, integrity, compassion.

Herb passed away in 2010. I miss him every day. To anyone who has lost a father, this beautiful song by Billy Bragg is for you.

 

 

Doing the heavy lifting

Hmm, I need to get a gift to get for my wife for our 18th wedding anniversary today, and I’m torn between two fabulous products that I’m sure she’ll love.

This one has a fantastic name

20150620_091506

And it can lift lots of stuff – mattresses, washing machines, armoires, exercise equipment, and of course giant Roadrunner-style Acme brand safes that everyone:

  • has in their homes
  • likes to lift and move often

The Forearm Forklift is also an “As Seen On TV” product so you know the quality is top-notch.

Then again, this product looks like a winner too:

20150620_091455

And the woman on the cover of this package looks happier about lifting her washing machine. So, Shoulder Dolly it is! I can’t wait to see the look on my wife’s face…

 

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