Smiles > Sadness

Sorry for the ouroboros-like post today. It’s been two years and one day since the passing of my friend Ned. Just like last year, I’m reposting my blog entry from October of 2023, and adding a few new thoughts on life and death (you know, just a couple of light topics).

It’s hard to believe it’s been two years. Maybe some of that is due to the fact that time seems to speed up as we age. But for me, I think a big part of it is because the pain, the sting, the overwhelming sadness of Ned’s passing diminishes over time, and yet the smiles, the joy, the love that Ned gave to all of us is still just as strong, just as vivid, just as real. His death was a punch to the gut that sent all of us reeling. But it had no lasting impact on our hearts. If anything, we love him more, because his absence gives us a greater appreciation for what he meant to us.

The sadness doesn’t go away, but it dulls over time. And the smiles are as fresh as today. Or yesterday. Or two years and one day ago.

Be Like Ned (from Oct. 2024)

One year ago today, we lost our dear friend Ned. (The “we” in this case includes the countless people Ned befriended during his too-short time on earth.)

I’m reposting my tribute to Ned from last October below. And adding a few more thoughts:

• Be kind to everyone you meet, from the cashier at the supermarket on up, like Ned was.
• Be caring, like Ned was. Ask others how they are doing.
• Be faithful, like Ned was. A devoted husband, a proud parent, and a true-blue friend.
• Be open to adventure, like Ned was.

If we could all be a bit more like Ned, the world would be a much better place. And to those of us who were lucky enough to know Ned, our part of the world IS a better place than it was before he came into our lives.

Photographs and Memories (from oct. 2023)

Back in my college days, if we needed someone to get swung around like a helicopter blade during a party, Ned was there.

If we needed someone to dress up like an elf, Ned was there.

Getting handcuffed to a loft? Ned was there.

Beer bongs? Ned was there.

For all of our Spring break adventures, Ned was there.

If we needed someone to man the grill, Ned was there.

At all those parties — in the dorm rooms, in the quad, and at the bars — Ned was there.

Whenever you needed a friend, Ned was there.

After college, when some folks from our gang got married, Ned was there.

At all the memorable moments over the past 40 years , Ned was there. Always.

Then, this past Monday, out of the blue, Ned was no longer there.

Suddenly —
You were gone
From all the lives
You left your mark upon

Ned had a stroke back in May of 2020 – it caused all sorts of health complications. But his departure still came as a shock. Now he’s in another “there” and we’re still here.

Tried to believe
But you know it’s no good
This is something
That just can’t be understood

Every one of us has a special place in our heart for the guy who was good-natured, sweet, kind, caring, smart, attentive, funny… and always up for a good time. Ned is still there. He always will be.