Peyton Manning’s forehead is so large that it should be called a fivehead. But not only is Peyton a great quarterback, he’s also a legendary pitchman, for everyone from Papa John’s Pizza to Nationwide Insurance. Similar to the old adage “when life hands you lemons, make lemonade,” Peyton has realized that when life hands you a fivehead, make some cash off of it.
Knowing that a 30-second commercial for this Sunday’s Super Bowl costs a whopping $5 million, and knowing that his forehead is larger than many billboards and will be constantly shown on the broadcast of what will in all likelihood be his final game, Peyton has a deal for you:
He’ll be attaching decals to his forehead using Stickum, and swapping them out on a regular basis. Here’s his rate card:
Pregame interviews: $1 million
1st quarter: $1.5 million
2nd quarter: $1.5 million
Halftime walk to locker room: $500,000
3rd quarter: $2 million
4th quarter: $7 million – this price is a lot higher because Peyton figures by then his Broncos will be getting crushed by the Panthers and there will be a lot of shots of him on the sidelines with his helmet off, looking forlorn.