I’ve been blogging (sporadically) since April of 2014, and have picked up my posting pace in 2015. During that time, my posts have garnered 1,646 comments… 1,624 of which were spammy ones trying to get better search results for their knockoff sneakers, fake designer purses, weight loss programs and deer antler spray (apparently that’s a thing).

My favorite spam comments are the ones that try to get me to publish them by sucking up:

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Why, thank you, “Daniela,” I’m flattered. But your prognostication skills are terrible, and your grammar is bad too (should be “its”, not “it’s”). As for you, “Website For Business,” well, pretty much anyone who has ever drawn a breath can say they are impacting as many lives as I am.

Here’s another fun one:

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Julian, I apologize that my website won’t render correctly on your Blackberry. Rather than me trying to fix that, maybe you should build a time machine and go back to 2006, which is when Blackberries ruled!

For those of you keeping score at home, there are 22 comments that are legit, from 4 readers/friends of mine. So thank you Mookie, Jacqui, Keith and Tim, and keep those comments coming. Unless they are about deer antler spray.