The most specific horoscope ever

I believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, but I’ve never put any faith in horoscopes. They tend to be so generalized that they could apply to 90% of the population. However, the horoscope below for me  (I’m a Capricorn, just like Jesus, John Denver and Donna Summer) was quite different. It was extremely specific: “before you go off buying tickets to a theme park or zip line, consider very carefully your intended company for the event…”

So apparently on that Sunday, every Capricorn in America was thinking about going to Six Flags or Cedar Point or a zipline course. What’s the chances? And they were thinking about taking their wet blanket of a friend/relative, apparently.

Love the tone of it too, almost like a scolding mom.

For the record, I wasn’t planning to go to a theme park or zipline. I went skydiving. With my depressed friend. He hated it.

horoscope with highlight

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