King Kenny

Here are the thoughts that flash through my feeble yet trivia-packed 50-year-old mind when I see this album cover:

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  1. The “parted-in-the-middle mullet” needs to make a comeback.
  2. Most folks think of Kenny Rogers as a country artist, and forget that he started out as a psychedelic freak.

3. “Six Pack” was a fine movie. (co-starring Diane Lane, Erin Gray, Barry Corbin and Anthony Michael Hall, y’all!)

4. Kenny rocked the facial hair long before craft-beer-swilling hipsters made it “ironic.”

5. I miss the corn muffins from Kenny Rogers Roasters restaurants. Mighty tasty.

(Apparently I could still get those corn muffins if I visit Malaysia.)

6. Nobody does duets like Kenny did. Dolly. Sheena Easton. Kim Carnes. Dottie West… You could pair Kenny with a parrot and get a #1 hit.

6. I’m sure it was cathartic for Tommy to beat up the Gatlin boys (“and there was three of them”) but a better course of action would’ve been for Becky to file charges.

7. In the early days of the interwebs, one of my favorite websites was MenWhoLookLikeKennyRogers.com. The concept was so simple yet wacky: find a silver-haired, bearded fella who resembled Kenny, take his photo (surreptitiously if necessary) and post it to the site. Pure genius in the days before piano-playing cats took over. Just look at a single page of photos and try not to laugh. It’s impossible.

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