The snack food equivalent of rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic

pork rinds

Support your local Wussy

CBS Saturday Morning had a great profile of the Cincinnati band Wussy today.

And they performed a fantastic song called “Teenage Wasteland” from their new album Attica: 

It’s so sad that fantastic bands like this aren’t able to quit their day jobs, while lame pre-fab acts like One Direction rake in millions. Please visit Wussy’s website and buy their music and merch. You’ll be glad you did.

You’d be sad too…

… if your dad made you go holiday shopping and you only got gifts for adults, like beer coolers. And you’d be doubly sad if he made you accompany him to K-Mart.

kmart shoppers

 

Worst. Christmas. Ever!

Turkey Quiz

Below is a Thanksgiving Day headline from my local newspaper. ( A “newspaper,” kids, is a printed collection of… aw, nevermind)

20141129_084242

 

Does this headline refer to:

A. Emperor Penguins

B. America’s obesity epidemic

C. The Great American Diaper Race

Just in time for holiday shopping!

Xmas promotion

 

Just keep in mind that the price is $19.99 each, and they usually come in pairs.

Go see Sons of Bill, you SOBs!

I had the distinct pleasure of seeing Sons of Bill live in concert a few weeks ago in Newport, KY. Unfortunately, there were only about 35 folks in the audience. My buddy and I spoke to all three of the siblings in the band (Sam, James and Abe) after the show, and the small crowd didn’t seem to dampen their spirits one iota. Each of them said, “if you liked the show, tell your friends.” I liked the show. A lot. Consider yourself told, my friend. Sons of Bill rock!

One of the songs on their new album, Love and Logic, has these lines:

Once Southern boys they all loved R.E. Lee

Once Southern girls loved R.E.M. 

Brilliant! They’re still on tour, so check ’em out if they come your way.

Here’s the official video for “Bad Dancer.” And a nice blurb about its inspiration is here.

Here’s an acoustic version of another song on the new album:

 

And here’s a rocker from a previous release:

The new (old) edition of the Jayhawks

Gather ’round, children, and Pappy will tell you a story about the old days, when there was a band out of Minneapolis called the Jayhawks. They were “off da hook” as you kids say today… do you kids still say that? Well, whatever term you use for “amazing” or “fantastic” or “mind-blowing” – that’s what the Jayhawks were. They had two – count ’em – two lead singers and songwriters, Gary Louris and Mark Olson. Sometimes Gary would sing lead and Mark would do harmony vocals. Sometimes the roles were reversed. Sometimes they’d sing together. In any permutation, the songs were pure Alt-Country/Americana bliss. Listen to this one and try not to get goosebumps – it isn’t possible:

The Jayhawks musical stew was a bit of the Byrds, a dollop of Neil Young, a pinch of The Louvin Brothers, a sprinkling of the Beatles. Speaking of the Beatles, Mark met a woman, Victoria Williams (an amazing artist in her own right), fell in love, got married and left the band. Yoko Part II? Oh no! Mark did albums with Victoria as the Original Harmony Creekdippers and they were good. Gary and the rest of the Jayhawk band carried on with the Jayhawks name, and they put out even more albums of pure pop perfection (say that three times fast).

End of story? Not quite, kiddies. Gary and Mark did get back together. They toured in ’05 and recorded a new Jayhawks album in 2011. Time heals all wounds, right? Sorry, this is not the happy ending you were expecting. Gary got hooked on stuff he should’ve just said no to, and Mark got upset about songwriting credits and money.

But  the Gary-Louris-post-Olson Jayhawks are back, touring with the 1997 lineup (Gary Louris, Marc Perlman, Tim O’Reagan, Karen Grotberg and Kraig Johnson) and playing mostly songs from the three gem-like albums released in that era: Sound of Lies, Smile and Rainy Day Music. And I’ll be damned (pardon my French, kids) if they don’t sound fantastic. I saw them in Indy a few weeks back and fell in love with their songs all over again, for all the right reasons. The band is amazing, with Tim and Karen and Kraig doing great work on vocals, and Mark, who has been there through thick and thin, holding down the fort.

Maybe they were never big stars… they were actually closer to Big Star… but they’re big stars in my universe.

That’s the end of this little tale, children. Now get the hell off my lawn!

Overstepping my language boundaries

More and more, I hear people using the phrase “step foot” or “stepped foot”, as in, “I’ll never step foot in that bar again.” A better term would be “set foot.” Don’t take my word for it, take it from this fancy grammar site.

Over and over, I hear folks saying “over” before a number… heard it at least 5 times in a local TV newscast (“Over 30 people have been treated for injuries.”) I know the AP is OK with it now, but “more than” is usually a better choice.

(Steps down from soapbox, returns to subterranean lair.)

(Or should that be “sets down from soapbox”?)

Doggone tired of bad comic strips

Are you one of the 8 people left in America who still get a printed newspaper? If so, are you one of the 3 of those 8 who still read the comics? If so, does your paper include “Marmaduke” in the comics section? If so, I can save you the time of reading it by summarizing every Marmaduke strip ever:

  1. Marmaduke is a big dog
  2. He thinks he’s human
  3. Alleged hilarity ensues.

marmaduke2002444371003

 

Stay tuned for my hard-hitting series of posts about bad comic strips, including:

Why hasn’t Beetle Bailey ever been deployed?

Why hasn’t Andy Capp been arrested for domestic violence and public intoxication?

Shouldn’t Mr. Wilson move to assisted living?

 

Thanks for the gift!

Here’s the note my  8-year-old son left on the bathroom door yesterday:

toilet  clogged note from Andrew

 

It’s the gift that keeps on giving… at least until I find the plunger.